Tom Selleck And That Water District In California Are Good Now

Oh, the 80s, a simpler time for Tom Selleck, when he could waste water by watering his wet suit and not worry about the bitches at the water district shoving a lawsuit between his furry buns.

Tom recently got into trouble with the Calleguas Municipal Water District in Southern California when a private investigator they hired caught his employees stealing water from a hydrant. Tom was hit with a lawsuit after the P.I. witnessed a commercial truck steal water from a hydrant in Thousand Oaks, CA before driving back to Magnum P.I.’s gigantic Hidden Valley ranch (I’m craving dressing now) that has an avocado farm on it. Tom’s ranch is outside of the Calleguas Water District’s boundaries. The P.I. watched this happen a total of 12 times over 2 years. In the lawsuit that was filed last week, the water district demanded that Tom reimburse them for the price of the P.I. ($21, 685.55 ) as well as cover their attorney fees and other shit. Page Six says that Tom managed to keep this mess out of court, because his lawyers offered up a settlement that the water district approved.

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Tom Selleck Accused Of Stealing Water From A California Fire Hydrant

The Calleguas Municipal Water District in Southern California has tossed a lawsuit into the lap of Tom Selleck for allegedly committing several acts of water thievery since 2013. Tom and his wife Jillie Mack are accused of stealing thousands of gallons of water from a fire hydrant near a construction site in Thousands Oaks, CA and transporting that stolen agua to his 60-acre ranch and avocado farm in the Hidden Valley area. This case is way too low-on-the-ladder for Detective La Toya, so this is a case for Magnum P.I.! Oh wait, Tom is Magnum P.I. This is a case for Jessica Fletcher! Water, he stole.

Courthouse News Service (via THR) says that in the court documents, the water district claims that a commercial truck sucked water out of that fire hydrant and drove it back to Chateau de Stache a total of 12 times in the span of 18 months. The water district says that the truck stole water 7 times from September 2013 to October 2013. In November 2013, they wanted Tom to stop stealing water, so they sent cease-and-desist letters to both of his homes in Southern California. Those letters did nothing to stop Tom’s alleged water snatching ways. They claim the truck went back to drink free water from the hydrant 5 more times: 1 time in December 2013 and 4 times in March 2015.

I know you’re wondering what the fire hydrant that Tom stuck his hose in looks like, so thankfully, The Daily Mail got a picture of it from Google.

The water district paid a private investigator $21,685.55 to track and document Tom’s water-looting truck. They want Tom to pay them back and they’re also demanding that he pay court fees, attorney costs and other damages to be determined.

Tom Selleck hasn’t said anything about this yet, but I’m sure he has a really good explanation for stealing water IN THIS DROUGHT (which is the new “IN THIS ECONOMY.”) It must take a whole lot of water to keep the majestic grand lawn above his mouth thick and luxurious. If all of us in California turn to dust due to this drought, it’s okay as long as Tom Selleck’s national treasure stache and brows stay lush and gorgeous.

Pics: Google, Wenn.com