This Is Totally Gay Al’s Two-Piece

Gay Al is going to burst a cum bubble when he sees these pictures of Star stretching out yet another one of his favorite freakum suits in St. Barts earlier this month. You can even tell by the look on Star’s face that she knows Gay Al’s manpussy is going to pucker like crazy over this shit. Star’s not even wearing it right! She’s wearing the top backwards. Gay Al loves the way that top accentuates his sumptuous décolletage.

You know, I don’t mind Star’s fat band scars. They kind of look like meth pipe burns and I like that feature on a woman. Methinks 2009 is going to be about looking like a day shift truck stop hooker, so meth pipe burns are a must to complete the look. Star is already ahead of the game.

However, I really didn’t need to get intimate with Star’s world class fupa. There’s enough fupa there to keep a large village warm at night. Warm and musty. No wonder Gay Al screamed “Oh my heavens!” every time Star tried to seduce him by wearing a sexy panty set from Torrid.

Absolutely NOT Fabulous

Gay Al is going to piss through his no-no when he see this shit! Item #42 on his cum bucket list is to have lunch with Ivana Trump just so she can raise her champagne glass and toast to her “dahling Gay Al.” And look who had lunch with Ivana in NYC. Star’s wearing Gay Al’s dick hunting boots too! Damn, she’s cold hearted.

A little birdie should tell Star and Ivana that Alaska is filled with hot eligible hunks who worship fur-wearing memaws. The hunks can be found hanging out behind Governor Sarah Palin’s house. The quickest way to attract the hunks is for Star and Ivana to put on their fur coats and gallop around while howling like moose. The Alaskan hunks love that shit!

Star With A Straight Dude?!

Star Jones’ new dude is totally throwing off my gaydar. I keep hitting the side of that shit, but it’s still not giving me an exact reading. I can totally picture her new dude’s manpussy puckering at the sight of a 12-incher. On the other hand, he totally looks like he mainly wears pleated Dockers and says the phrase “okie dokie” at least a dozen times a day. That makes me think he’s totally straight. But then again, he is kissing Star Jones. She attracts more closeted homos than the Republican Convention.

Here’s Star and her new man making children cry by touching lips at the US Open yesterday. Star should tear herself away from him for a quick minute and go tend to that sad pussy sitting on her head. It needs major loving….and a flea bath.

Did Star Jones Learn Nothing From Gay Al?

All those years with Gay Al should have taught Star Jones how to deep throat properly. Come on, Star! Swallow that shit in one shot. Gay Al would’ve had that thing halfway down his throat before the photographer could even think about taking his picture.

Star Jones is single, sexy and living it up in Cannes. The middle thumbnail looks like Gay Al’s face after a night out with his “boys.”

Star also kissed up to a friend’s dog. That dog is gay! Star can’t help it. Like a fly to fruit…..

Gay Al Wants To Talk

I’ve decided to use a picture of Gay Al with fat Star, because fat Star is soooo much better than today’s Star. I miss fat Star. Not really. So….Gay Al is ready to talk about his split from Star! He’s looking to talk, but he wants to get paid. Full Disclosure is reporting that he’s shopping around his first TV interview to the highest bidder.

A source said, “He has got to make a buck somehow. He’s been looking for a six-figure deal for an interview where he dishes about being married to Star.” Six-figures?! Are we talking money or dick size? And to think that I was going to offer him a Bel Ami video, a Barbie manicure set and some used anal beads.

Six-figures? He must have jizz in the brains. Besides, what else is there to tell? He likes juicy salchicha and Star is a lie-teller. We basically know everything.

Star Jones Can Kill With Her Fists

Star Jones is the host of “The Bad Girls Club” reunion which airs this Tuesday on Oxygen. It was the only job she could get. During the taping, one bad girl told Tanisha she was “a cheeseburger away from being obese.” Mmmm….cheeseburger. Extra cheese? Tanisha immediately started brawling and security had to be called in.

When everything settled, Star told the audience, “If I punched every bitch who called me fat, it would be dead bitches all up and down the highway.’” Instead of punching bitches, Star used her fists on Gay Al’s ass. Well, it was the one thing that kept their marriage alive for that long.

Source: Page Six