So, This Is What Fox Did To “Rocky Horror Picture Show”

When Fox announced that they were doing a two-hour TV remake of Rocky Horror Picture Show, I just knew that they were going to take the classic and scrub out all of the dirty glitter-embedded crotch sweat from it before dipping it in bleach and dressing it up with a thick layer of polished bubblegum. Well, it looks like they did just that. Everybody should start dialing 9-1-1 to report FOX for committing premeditated butchery.

Entertainment Weekly posted the first pictures from Fox’s Rocky Horror, which isn’t live and airs this fall, and it looks more like Rudy Giuliani Presents Rocky Horror Picture Show. Above is Laverne Cox as Dr. Frank-N-Furter, and while I appreciate that they made Frank a ginge, because the world needs more ginges, the hell is that outfit, that wig and that makeup? That conservative ass outfit looks like it was pulled off of a rack at Hot Topic and everything else is too perfect. Laverne looks like she spent a long time in a chair at the MAC store and that wig looks freshly dry cleaned. Frank-N-Furter should look like sparkly shit dragged through a back alley puddle. Laverne looks too perfect. It’s like she’s posing as Frank-N-Furter in an America’s Next Top Model photo shoot. Don’t even get me started on Ben Vereen’s brows looking like felt.

After the cut is Laverne in her full Frank-N-Furter costume, as well as more pictures, and yes, it gets worse.

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Laverne Cox Is Frank-N-Furter In Fox’s “Rocky Horror” Remake

Fox announced today that yes, they’re actually going through with their remake of Rocky Horror Picture Show and they have chosen Laverne Cox as the one who will inherit Tim Curry’s garter belt and fuck-me heels. Fox is describing their Rocky Horror reboot as a 2-hour taped event and a “reimagining,” which is TV talk for “We’re going to butcher the shit out of it, make it ‘family friendly’ and leave you crying and begging for mercy.” via Deadline

Laverne Cox already made history as the first transgender actor to receive an Emmy nomination. Now the Orange Is The New standout is breaking new ground for transgender performers as star of Fox’s TV remake of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Cox will play Dr. Frank-N-Furter, the role played by Tim Curry in the original Broadway cast and the 1975 movie. With Cox on board, the The Rocky Horror Picture Show, which had been gestating for a while, is getting a formal green light for a premiere in fall 2016.

I’m sure people from Glee, Scream Queens and Empire are going to fill the rest of the cast. You won’t find me bitching (“That’s a first” – you) if  Cookie Lyon got cast as Magenta, but my nerves are splitting just from thinking about Lea Michele as Janet. I hope Fox doesn’t cast Fox people, though. I hope the casting of Laverne Cox is just the beginning of an all-OITNB cast that looks like this:

Sophia IS Frank-N-Furter!
Lorna IS Janet!
John Bennett IS Brad!
Red IS Magenta (I just wanted to type that)!
Big Boo IS Eddie (I mean, she’s already done it)!
Flaca IS Columbia!
Pornstache IS Rocky!
Piper IS Riff Raff!

And I only chose Piper as Riff Raff, because she kind of looks like him. But in my dream mash-up of OITNB and Rocky Horror, Riff Raff doesn’t speak and barely gets any screen time.

Pic: @TinPanLA