Mary Kay Letourneau Is Dead At 58

Mary Kay Letourneau, one of America’s most notorious child rapists (sadly a hotly contested title these days) has died. She was 58. According to TMZ, stage 4 colon cancer got her, but her perpetually delusional ass probably thought she was dying from an advanced case of True Love 4 Ever. I’m not sure where child rapists go when they die since I’m convinced that this is actually The Bad Place, but if there is a The Worst Place, perhaps she’s destined to spend an eternity there in perdition, age-appropriately married to Jeffrey Epstein.

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