It’s That Time Of Year Again….

The Dancing with the Has-Beens and Never-Wases cast was announced this morning, which means it’s that time when our heads barf up a stream of questions marks while reading the names of the bright shining A-listers who will bust out a lukewarm mambo for a check. ABC already announced that next season’s cast includes Ginger Zee  (which sounds like the name of my second favorite malt liquor of the 90s) of Good Morning America, topless selfie adonis Geraldo Rivera, Donald Trump’s second trophy wife Marla Maples and Stephanie Tanner (born name: Jodie Lee Ann Sweetin) who is seen above with a new face courtesy of Photoshop. ABC announced the rest of the cast today and they also confirmed that Mischa Barton can finally pay her car note, because bitch is finally getting a check!

Compared to past seasons, the season 22 cast of DWTS is like the goddamn Oscars to me. I recognized most of the names. My brain activated the “Google that bitch, you dumbfuck” switch only 3 times and they were all sports people. That maaaaay be a record. Let’s see how you do:

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