Category: IN THIS ECONOMY
Jennifer’s Bomb
Er. Well, it looks like Megan Fox’s mouth of destruction launched a torpedo of words which exploded directly into her own movie. Box Office Mojo reports that Jennifer’s Body opened in the #5 spot at the box office this weekend with just $6.8 million. Even Jennifer Aniston’s Entenmann’s queef extravaganza Love Happens did better.
For some reason, I thought JB (also titled Megan’s Mouth) would’ve sold a shit load of tickets due to all the pube-challenged fanboys wanting to bust one into their popcorn while watching Megan kiss on Amanda Seyfried and chew on boys. I was wrong.
Here’s what the rest of the weekend box office looked like. I know Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs is a kids movie, but it sounds like hardcore gay porn featuring plenty of scat scenes. Yes, you can always find me in the gutter.
1. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs – $30.1 million
2. The Informant! – $10.5 million
3. Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All by Myself – $10.0 million
4. Love Happens – $8.4 million
5. Jennifer’s Body – $6.8 million
6. 9 – $5,5 million
7. Inglourious Basterds – $3.6 million
8. All About Steve – $3.4 million
9. Sorority Row – $2.5 million
10. The Final Destination – $2.4 million
Image VIA Fangoria
The Photoshop Awards: The Takers Poster
I have no clue what this Takers movie is about, but based on the poster I’m guessing the “something” everyone is after is NECKS! This shit should be called NECK TAKERS, because none of these motherfuckers on this poster have one! Paul Walker sort of has one, but it’s hidden underneath that spandex turtleneck(?!!!?). I mean, what in the fuck?! My drunk computer-illiterate uncle, who thinks an ipod is a type of diaphragm (true story), could do a better Photoshop job than this!
I wish Paul Walker would use his GIGANTIC hands to rip that hat off of Hayden Christensen’s head, because SamRo has been asking for it.
And part of me hopes the movie is just like the poster. You know, a bunch of cardboard cut-outs hanging around together, boozing, smoking and TAKING!
Source: Coming Soon VIA ONTD
A Check Is A Check!
If one of your homeboys got shot and you have things to do, Christopher “Kid” Reid has just the suit for you! Tell your flip-flops to take a time out and do the “Kid ‘n Play Dance” all the way to SW Suits in Carson, CA! Make sure to tell them Kid sent you, because I think they give him a quarter for every time someone mentions his name. And bitch needs it!
And I’m all for stars of the 80s and 90s in commercials for local clothing stores. I can’t wait to see Lisa Lisa’s commercial for Susie’s Deals. Or Stacey Q for Rainbow.