Open Post: Hosted By Sun-Maid Still Trying To Make Halloween Raisins Happen

According to The Takeout, in their ongoing attempt to ruin children’s lives, Sun-Maid Raisins has gussied up their packaging and made their product more disgusting than it already is by slathering it with flavored yogurt, just in time for Halloween. As we all know, individually packaged raisins’ entire (if you’ll allow me this one small indulgence) raison d’etre, is to be rejected and thrown away. I say this with the confidence of a person who has never, ever, ever met a person in my life who enjoys raisins as a snack. Further testament to the universal unappeal of raisins are the millions of boxes of Sun-Maid raisins that have made their way into landfills across this great nation of ours. Yet, against all logic and reason, Sun-Maid still thinks it owns a corner of the Halloween market. To which I say, damn you Sun-Maid, damn you TO HELL.

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