I’ve heard of velvet handcuffs and golden handcuffs, but the platinum bracelets ABC and Shonda Rhimes slapped on Grey’s Anatomy’s titular star, Ellen Pomeo, must have been so weighed down with diamonds she finally had to chew her own hand off to escape. Deadline reports that Ellen is finally stepping away from the spotlight after 19 seasons as a “full-time cast member” but promises she’ll “definitely be back to visit.” This is good because she’s going to probably need to have somebody take a look at that severed hand of hers so she can be refitted for a lovely pair of diamond-encrusted Special Guest Appearance By/Executive Producer handcuffs.
If there’s one thing Scientologists hate more than quack psychologists, it’s lunatic physicists with their science and logic backed hypothesis about the universe. As anyone who’s bothered to learn the truth about space things and such can tell you, Stephen Hawking was out of his goddamn mind. It’s no wonder the inimitable mind of Kirstie Alley felt the need to take the foolish little man down a peg with a eulogy befitting the charlatan who wouldn’t know a thetan if it hit him between the eyes.