David Walliams And Lara Stone Are Done With Each Other

When Little Britain’s David Walliams and Justin Bieber’s one-time babysitter Lara Stone added to the definition of random back in 2010 by marrying each other, Michael K made a joke that if she didn’t do something about her SANS EYEBROWS wedding day situation, she’d be using a Sharpie to sign divorce papers. Well, 5 years later she did do something about her eyebrows, but it looks like the curse of the janky eyebrows was just too strong, because the Telegraph says that after 5 years of marriage, 43-year-old David and 31-year-old Lara are calling it quits.

So far their split is pretty Lifetime-y; Lara reportedly moved out of their house last night and took their 1-year-old son Alfred and their dog Bert with her. Nooo! Not Bert! This is turning into some Not Without My Dog-er nonsense. So far they’ve classified their current situation as a “trial separation”. No word on what broke them up, so until we find out the details, I’m sticking with eyebrow curse.

Although maybe shit started to go south in their marriage shortly after Lara shot that CK training pants campaign and David realized he just couldn’t compete with such a notoriously sexy super stud like Justin Bieber. Yeah, that’s definitely it.

Kelly Osbourne vs. David Walliams

On the left is Kelly Osbourne filling my head with a half a cup of “No really, Harpo, who dis woman?” and a half cup of “YOU ARE NOT JACK SOMMERSBY” as Goldfinger’s Shirley Eaton for the launch of Sky+HD. On the right is David Walliams also drenched in Kanye West’s ass saliva as Shirley Eaton for Heat Magazine.

I’m happy that Kelly feels comfortable enough to proudly flaunt her body like a born and bred nudist now that she’s lost some chunk, but my point goes to David for this one. Only David can pair a prairiedogginface with an “I’m so scared” pose and make it work!