Category: Avril Lavigne
Eau de Poseur
Avril Lavigne has trademarked her name for bath products and crap. This means a fragrance might not be far away. P-Fucking-U! She filed a trademark last month with the United States Patent and Trademark Office for exclusive rights to her name regarding fragrances, aftershave, bath soap, body lotion and talc.
Avril’s perfume will probably smell like something that might be something that probably is that, but is something else. Basically a mixture of douche water, burnt eyeliner, Manic Panic hair dye and maple syrup.
No More Babies!
Can we please hijack a Starbucks in Hollywood and spike the frapps with birth control bills? This has got to stop. Canadian blog IsThisHappening reports that the “motherfucking princess” Avril Lavigne has a bun in the oven. 23-year-old Avril is reportedly 6 weeks pregnant. Her husband, Deryck Whibley, has been telling friends that he’s excited to be a daddy.
Oh Jesus, Eh! I’m losing track on who is and who isn’t pregnant. I’ll add Avril to the list of “rumored” knocked up chicks along with Pammy Anderson and Angelina Jolie. Seriously, Hollywood is going to be so annoying in 18 years. All these spoiled kids running around acting the fool. That means nothing’s going to change!
UPDATE: Avril’s spokeswhore has denied this shit. “It’s not true.”
Lil Jon Is My Hero
Not Hot
While we’re waiting to see if Britney gets her kids back (I’m guessing it’s a big fat NO) here’s a little Avril Lavigne for some background music. It’s the newest video for her single “Hot.” Avril needs to drop the sexy and just stick with her same shtick. She also can’t dance worth a hell. That microphone stand has better moves than her.
VIA ONTD
Paris Lavigne
STFU Avril!
On dealing with her incredible success:
"Selling 24 million albums hasn't really affected me, but it has changed things. I can't walk into a room full of people any more without everybody turning their heads, and I can only eat in certain restaurants where I know I won't get hassled. But that's OK. I was born to do this, and so I've learned how to cope."
Sweetie, they are only turning around to laugh at your ass, because you look like a poser fool!
On her competition:
"Someone like Kelly Clarkson is beautiful and has a pretty voice, but with me you get a much stronger image. I'm tough, I have a look that girls want to copy, and I sound a particular way. It's good if you're not easily ignored. And I'm not."
Stronger image? Girls copying you? Darling, ten years ago you could waltz into any High School in America and see at least 10 girls that looked just like you and did it better.
On her generosity:
"I am a very giving person. When the hurricane thing happened, I went to my closet, filled six boxes of stuff and said to my assistant, 'Take it to Katrina!' I also like to give stuff to people who are my 'workers,' especially if they don't make much money."
Give her a Nobel Peace Prize already! She's such a giving soul! The sad thing is someone is walking around New Orleans with an "Emily the Strange" t-shirt and creepers.
On her polarizing personality:
"People love me and people hate me, but I'm comfortable in my own skin and that's what counts. And anyway if you do hate me, you're the loser, not me."
Avril please put out another album already, so it could tank and we'd never have to hear from you again!
Above is Avril looking like Penelope Pussycat with a bad dye job at Fashion Rocks last night.