A “Super Mario Bros.” Producer Swears We’re Gonna Love Chris Pratt’s Mario Voice!

I think We The People have been perfectly clear about our objection to Chris Pratt voicing a Japanese-born cartoon Italian plumber in the upcoming untitled Super Mario Bros. movie, and it has nothing to do with the prospect of Chris and Lady Gaga competing for an Oscar in the category of Best Worst Italian Caricature. Obviously, that would be awesome, but no, We The People object because of shit like this. And this. And also this. We just don’t trust him, OK! But according to TooFab, Mario Bros. producer Chris Meledandri seems to be under the mistaken impression that people are complaining because they didn’t cast somebody from the Italianx community. So if that’s your issue, don’t worry. Not only is Meledandri an Italian-American himself, Charlie Day who plays Luigi, also comes from Italian heritage. But that’s not good enough for me. Not one person involved with the production knows shit-all about plumbing. And that’s the real issue here. Chris Pratt may be a tool, but he certainly doesn’t know how to use a wrench.

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