Category: Adam Scott

Adam Scott And Mitch McConnell Got Into A Twitter GIF Fight

June 27, 2019 / Posted by:

Actually, that should probably say Adam Scott and whatever summer intern runs Mitch McConnell’s Twitter account. Because I’m almost positive Mitch thinks a tweet is something those dang nuisance birds do when he’s trying to watch his WWII stories on the History Channel. But for the sake of argument, let’s just say that actor Adam Scott and Senator Mitch McConnell spent yesterday slapping at each other on Twitter.

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Adam Scott And Paul Rudd Once Got Kicked Out Of A Wedding For Flashing Their Dicks

June 18, 2015 / Posted by:

If you’ve ever been to a wedding with an open bar, you know that it’s bound to get messy. For instance, I’ve been to a wedding where the bride’s elderly aunt got so hammered on Long Island Iced Teas that she tried to take her top off in the middle of the dance floor to “Sex Bomb” and got all tangled up in her shirt like a tuna in a net before falling into the dessert table. But I’ve never been to a wedding where someone whipped out their dick. I clearly don’t get invited to the right kind of weddings.

But there are people out there who have been to a wedding where they saw two guest penises, and those two penises belonged to handsome DILFs Adam Scott and Paul Rudd. “I’d like to go back in time and find that wedding,” said everyone who gets the vapors for Adam Scott and Paul Rudd. According to Adam, who told the story during an appearance on Late Night with Seth Meyers on Wednesday night, he and Paul decided to pull out their dicks while filming a video message to the bride and groom. Unfortunately, the video was played at the reception, and the bride, the groom and Great Aunt Agnes all got an eyeful of dick.

Afterward, the groom told them they needed to get out, so they left, and didn’t return until the next morning, when they came back to apologize.

Everyone knows that the messiness that happens at a wedding is nothing compared to the next-level MESS that happens at a bachelor/bachelorette party, so I have no idea why nobody screened that video before it was played. If there’s anytime someone is going to get hammered and decide to whip out their dick or flash their cooch on camera, it’s during the bachelor/bachelorette party.

Pic: Blackbook


Channing Tatum’s Ass Is A Siren Song To All The Men In Hollywood

March 17, 2012 / Posted by:

Some horny bitch in the Hollywood hierarchy must have sampled Channing Tatum’s thonged delights a couple of years back. Because I can’t sneak a nip into the AMC without his liverwursty self confronting me in every trailer shown. I don’t get it. He’s got a nice setup (sometimes) but is the talent there? No, but a badonka donk bubble butt obviously is because Parks and Recreation’s Adam Scott wants to fuck it and Jonah Hill insisted on a sexy skinny-dipping session with it. Lap band surgery makes you gay.

We posted about Adam Scott’s desire for Channing Tatum’s buttocks over at my day job (it was a nice break from topics like self-fisting and which porn star gobbles cock the best). Scott rhapsodized to Details about Channing’s hams and what we as a public should do with them.

DETAILS: Wow, that is nerdy. So, on Parks, the cast always seems to be having a ton of fun.

Adam Scott: You don’t have fun at work? You work for Details. You sit around and talk about hot dudes like Channing Tatum. That guy looks like he was sculpted out of ivory. If they made casts of asses to sell at adult stores for people to have sex with, they would use his ass. Sorry for everything I just said.

You know when you’re awkward and you sweat through party conversation and inevitably the thing you say to someone is a weird reference to some nightmarish fantasy that you have about snoodling and they quickly move away to the cheese plate? Maybe that’s just Adam and I. Because that was quite a jump from “having fun on the set” to “I want a rubber Channing Tatum ass to fuck”.

He’s going to be one hissingly jealous pocket queen because toad turned meerkat Jonah Hill got to splash around with Channing’s big white ass in Miami! They’re in the 21 Jump Street remake together and Tatum told Jimmy Kimmel that they went for a dip together all nude and stuff.

“We decided to jump in the ocean—naked. It was nighttime, thank God,” Tatum shared.

“There’s Jerry’s Deli right on the corner and [Jonah] decides he wants to go in and all he’s got is his T-shirt and his underwear on and he’s like, ‘I’m going in to get something to eat!’ and I’m like, ‘No!’ So I stopped him and [took] him back to the car,” he added. “Now he’s nicknamed ‘Baby Jonah’ because I had to dress him like a mom. I’m like, ‘No, no. Bad Jonah. No. Butt up, butt up. OK.”

“Butt up”? Kinky adult baby play? The fuck is going on during these shoots? George Clooney must have made an immediate beeline for Channing’s latest movie shoot after he made bail.

Oh, and I’m not going to pretend like I wouldn’t spelunk on that ass. I’ve had liverwurst before. It didn’t kill me.

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