Category: 2017 Oscars
The Motion Picture Academy Thinks Donald Trump’s Ban On Muslims Is “Extremely Troubling”
President Donald Trump issued an executive order last Friday that, according to CNN, “bars citizens of seven Muslim-majority countries from entering the United States for the next 90 days and suspends the admission of all refugees for 120 days.” This has caused some truly messy and scary situations. People are being detained at airports. Lawsuits have already been filed against Trump’s ban. And Joss Whedon was accused of calling Ivanka Trump a “Pekingnese” on Twitter. It’s havoc! (He later tweeted that he was actually referring to her “ugly, yappy” father.)
The 2017 Oscar Nominations Are Out, And Amy Adams Got Shut The Hell Out
Now every time Amy Adams gets with her husband and she asks him how it was, she can light a cigarette while saying, “It was pretty good, but sorry, honey, nobody’s fucked me the way that the Oscars has fucked me.”
The Oscar nominations are usually announced at the hour of the ungodly by a bunch of actors in a conference room or hotel ballroom in front of reporters whose veins are attached to an IV drip full of pure caffeine. But since it’s probably getting harder and harder to find actors who are willing to get their hair and makeup done at 3 in the morning to say names that aren’t their own, the nominations were announced in a pre-taped video by a group of past winners and nominees who talked about what it was like to win or whatever. I could practically hear Casey Affleck screaming, “Shut the fuck up and call my name already!”
Pretty much everyone predicted that in the Best Actress category, we would hear the names Amy Adams (for Arrival), Emma Stone (for La La Land) and Natalie Portman (for Jackie). The other nominations seemed to be a toss-up between Isabelle Hupert (for Elle), Meryl Streep (for that Florence Foster Farms mess), Rutha Negga (for Loving) and Annette Bening (for 20th Century Women). Emma and Natalie got in, but I guess Amy didn’t suck enough gold ass, because she didn’t. Ruth Negga and Meryl Streep were nominated instead. I miss the innocent days (see: yesterday) when I was silly enough to think that THEE Meryl Streep would not get a nomination for that Florence Foster shit. But I forgot that in Hollywood, there’s a law that states if Meryl Streep doesn’t get nominated, nobody gets nominated. But on a totally positive note, I’m sure Amy Adams will get a bouquet from Susan Lucci today and the card will read, “Congratulations to being the me of the Oscars.”
If you watched the Oscar nominations this morning and took a shot of caffeine every time La La Land’s name came up, then you’re probably strapped to an ER bed to control your freaked-out body from the coffee overdose you put it through. La La Land got nominated for everything. It got a total of 14 nominations, tying Titanic and All About Eve for the most noms. And also, we didn’t get another repeat of #OscarsSoWhite and Michael Shannon was nominated for Nocturnal Animals instead of Golden Globe winner Aaron Taylor-Johnson. And I bet Blake NotSoLively’s chichis are covered with maple syrup tears today because Deadpool got a total of zero nominations. The nominations and the nom video are after the cut.