Night Crumbs

June 9, 2023 / Posted by:

At this very moment, Tom Cruise might be sorrowfully looking at the relationship contract he planned to romantically present to Shakira. Because People Magazine reports that Shakira and Lewis Hamilton are casually dating. But you know, Tommy shouldn’t give up hope just yet, because there is a chance that Shakira and Lewis’ blossoming love could explode into a cloud of caca fumes after she dares to shit in one of his toilets! –Lainey Gossip

Ken Jennings isn’t a fan of Jeopardy!’s mid-show interviews, which sometimes are where awkward and boring meet. With that being said, Ken needs to stop with his mid-show interview slander because if we didn’t have them, how would we ever find out that contestants got stung by a bee at camp or mistook the sun for the moon one time? – Pajiba

It looks like the phrase “Netflix and chill” isn’t in danger of being replaced with “Tubi and chill” for now. Their Great Password Crackdown is working, and subscriptions are up. This is the opposite of shocking because I’m sure that as soon as the password crackdown began, everyone immediately signed up for a new account so that they won’t miss any new episodes of The Goop Lab and Sexy BeastsThe Verge

Every time a famous type or a Real Housewife gets a case of the Ozempic-induced shits or heaves, Amy Schumer hears KA-CHING! Amy says that she invested in Ozempic after using that crap for a minute last year because she knew it was going to be this generation’s Fen-Phen – Just Jared

BREAKING: A Barry crew member has outed Bill Hader for being… NICE! – The A.V. Club

Chloe Fineman making fun of Lily-Rose Depp’s character in The Idull is the best thing to come out of that mess (besides Elizabeth Berkeley getting a check, of course) – Uproxx

I don’t think Eric Andre needed to tell us that getting and maintaining cum gutters in your 40s is about as pleasant as getting yelled at by Lewis Hamilton for shitting in his toilet, but Eric Andre decided to tell us anyway – People


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