Night Crumbs

March 31, 2023 / Posted by: Michael K

After a jury sided with Team Goopy in Gwyneth Paltrow’s ski crash trial, one juror piped up to give her reason why she thought Terry Sanderson was the one at fault. Juror No. 11 said that she went back and forth during the trial but eventually decided that Goopy didn’t have a reason to lie. And yes, her reason had to do with Goopy being famous. The juror said, “She’s always in the spotlight so she always has to be honest.” HAHAHAHA! That juror definitely doesn’t go here (aka the internet). Now that Juror No. 11 has said that Goopy could never be deceptive, I’m sure that Goopy herself is going to slide up and try to sell the juror a bridge butt ozone therapy sessions, useless healing stickers, overpriced coochie eggs, extra-virgin cold-pressed organic snake oil, etc., etc… – Just Jared

Here are all the looks from last night’s GLAAD Media Awards, and the soundtrack to this post is the sound of Christina Aguilera’s chichis screaming for mercy as her sequined vampire gown squeezes the life out of ’em – Tom + Lorenzo

When it comes to baseball pitching, Megan Thee Stallion is more like Megan Thee Half-Comatose Pony. But with that being said, she still throws better than me (although an actual half-comatose pony would still throw better than me) – HuffPo

Three suspects have been arrested in the gym attack on predator snitch Tekashi 6ix9ine. Something tells me those suspects are about to get two edible arrangements as a thank you from Boosie Badazz and Chief Keef – NBC News

Kleenex must be one of The Drew Barrymore Show’s sponsors because this week, there was a tears-inducing moment where Jason Ritter said that when he started dating his wife Melanie Lynskey, he knew she was incredible but didn’t think he was good enough for her since he was battling alcoholism at the time – Pajiba

Meanwhile, Jay Leno is out there singing Brand New Ear to the tune of Melanie’s Brand New Key, because one of his ears got so fucked up in his car fire accident that he had to get a new one – SOW

Hugh Grant talked about the time he got his ass blown out by wieners (and not in a sexy way) on the set of Two Weeks Notice – Entertainment Weekly

Pic: Backgrid

Tags: Night Crumbs

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