Tekashi 6ix9ine Could Go To Prison Forever

Rapper Tekashi69, or 6ix9ine, or 69? Like, I don’t know what he calls himself, but he needs to start calling himself Inmate 69 because he is heading straight to the clink! Well, not yet, but if I know anything about the law, and the last 20 seasons of Law & Order SVU say that I do, he’s most likely gonna end up in the slammer. Clink, clink, those aren’t expensive bottles of champagne on a bullet-riden music video set, they’re the chains around your legs as you’re escorted to your cell.

Previously Tekashi pleaded guilty to “use of a child in a sexual performance” and because justice always strikes the first time, he was given four years probation for it. But now TMZ is reporting that Tekashi is facing a lot more than a slap on his wrist. In fact, his wrist is probably going to be incredibly sore from trading so many handjobs for cigarettes in cellblock D.

Tekashi is facing 6 counts in a federal indictment (that’s the big kind). The biggest charge he’s facing is “discharging a firearm while committing a crime” which has a possible life sentence but a mandatory minimum sentence of 25 years in jail. Apparently Tekashi and “his crew” were conspiring to commit a whole bunch of crimes including, drug dealing, armed robberies and a even a few shootings.

The federales think that Tekashi was himself involved in an armed robbery on April 3rd, and he brought along his ex-manager, Shottie, and 2 other members of  the Nine Trey Bloods, which I Googled and it’s a gang, like a part of the Bloods? Cool. Because he’s a tough guy, Tekashi chilled in the car and filmed his cohorts robbing his rivals. Oh and these guys were also selling “heroin, fentanyl, MDMA and marijuana all over NYC.” And on April 21 there was another incident with a shooting at Barclays Centre and Tekashi was involved in that too when he watched his homie “fire multiple shots at another vehicle.” And because Tekashi really wants his life to be an episode of The First 48, he also “allegedly ordered a hit on a rival” and this incident left one person shot in the foot.

Prosecutors claim this was all done to protect their drug business and also to “promote Nine Trey’s rep on the streets.” Tekashi was arrested on Sunday by the ATF for racketeering charges in a law-enforcement threesome with the NYPD and Homeland Security. Funnily enough, last week Tekashi was on The Breakfast Club and he said the only things he feared were “God and the FBI.” Well one of them got you good, honey.

Tekashi was initially denied bail but his lawyer vowed to appeal at a hearing Tuesday. Today is Tuesday so today 69 will find out if he makes bail. Spoiler alert: it don’t look good. Usually when you’re on probation for sort-of, kind-of touching a child inappropriately they don’t let you bail out when you then get arrested for trying to murder people and slinging drugs up and down Manhattan.

Sigh, the gangster rap lifestyle: it’s all video hoes and popping bottles until the FBI is kicking in your door.

Pic: Instagram.