Hot Slut Of The Day!
Hot Pockets Toaster Breaks!
Hot Pockets debuted 40 years ago and quickly became one of the go-to-meals we latchkey kids could quickly whip up ourselves when our parents didn’t have time to make us shit for dinner or lunch. Parents could always count on a Hot Pocket (which is as gourmet as Chef Boyardee’s culo tunnel) to provide us with gourmet nutritiousness in minutes. But you needed a microwave or a toaster oven to make a Hot Pocket. And it took Nestle, the makers of Hot Pockets, over ten years to bring that deliciousness into homes that didn’t have a microwave when they intorudced Hot Pockets Toaster Breaks!
Hot Pockets began tickling tastebuds (or grossing out tastebuds, depending on who you ask) in 1983. Mean Girls’ Gretchen Wieners’ family invented Toaster Strudel around that time, and it made its debut in 1985. And thirteen years after that, Hot Pocket decided to give people the gourmet baby of a Hot Pocket and a Toaster Strudel by making Hot Pockets Toaster Breaks. Hot Pockets Toaster Breaks came in several flavors from pizza to grilled cheese to ham and cheese to Philly cheesesteak. Hot Pockets Toaster Breaks weren’t the first savory goodness you could heat up in a toaster. There were toaster pizzas before it. But it bragged about its zesty taste and crispy crust! And the name Toaster Breaks was perfect because if that dough shell cracked, cheese would seep into your toaster, breaking that bitch.
Hot Pockets are, of course, still around today, but Toaster Breaks are not. That’s surprising. I mean, to make a regular Hot Pocket, you have to pull it out of the box, put it in that little crisper sleeve, open up the microwave, put that shit in, close the microwave, and then nuke it. To make a Toaster Break, you just had to pull it out of the box, put it in the toaster, heat it up, and BAM! Way less work than a regular Hot Pocket, yet it doesn’t exist anymore. I guess Kim Kartrashian was wrong after all; people DO want to work.
Pic: YouTube