Night Crumbs

February 20, 2023 / Posted by:

SCANDAL hit the BAFTAs this weekend when Prince William and Kate Middleton showed up, and she tried to hold his hand before patting him on the ass instead. I don’t know why Kate didn’t go for his ass first. She knows he’s really into butt fun! But seriously, how did the monarchy not completely crumble into a million pieces over the scandalous weight of all that raunchy PDA from those two shamelessly horny royal sluts? – Entertainment Tonight

The Ninth Circle’s one puffy coat store must be doing major business today since Hell has obviously frozen entirely over. Case in point: Warner Bros. has canceled both The People’s Court and Judge Mathis after approximately 592 years on air. Now what are kids going to watch when they stay home (pretend) sick from school (SPOILER ALERT: TikTok), and what is going to play in doctor’s waiting rooms across the land (SPOILER ALERT: Beverly Hills Chihuahua on a loop, which is what has been playing in my doctor’s office for years)?!!! – TVLine

Also at the BAFTAs, Austin Butler got closer to OSCUH, Cate Blanchett beat Michelle Yeoh for Best Actress, and there was a Best Supporting Actress whoopsie when Carey Mulligan was mistakenly named as winner instead of actual winner Kerry Condon. Carey probably didn’t mind because, for once, the actress she was mistaken for wasn’t Michelle Williams! – Pajiba

Tom Sizemore is in a bad way in the ICU after suffering a brain aneurysm over the weekend – The A.V. Club

Today in You In Danger, Girl: Judd Apatow hosted the Directors Guild Awards on Saturday, and he must have seen Jerrod Carmichael get in a Scientology diss while hosting the Golden Globes and thought, “I can do that too!” Because Judd shit on Scientology’s Jesus Tom Cruise for being an antidepressants-hating deadbeat dad – Variety

Douche pulled a tampon prank – Celebitchy

Megan Fox, who implied in an Instagram post that Machine Gun Kelly passed his dick to another, denied that MGK passed his dick to another and spit at those who came up with and spread that “baseless” rumor. Um, she better have been looking in the mirror when she typed that mess – LoveBScott

Pics: Chris Jackson/PA Images/, Instagram

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