Night Crumbs
Despite the fact that nearly EVERYONE was at home watching the Puppy Bowl yesterday, some people actually went to the movies, and in even more shocking news, they actually went to the movies to see Magic Mike’s Last Dance. MM3 was at the top of the box office with just $8.2 million. Okay, I’m going to choose to believe that Channing Tatum spent his weekend dry grinding outside of movie theaters to Pony while handing out free tickets to MM3 that he bought himself. Because MM3 doesn’t have any nudity in it, so who would pay actual money to see a Magic Mike movie without even a bare ass cheek in it?! That’s like me paying for a regular Double-Double at In-N-Out but telling them to leave out the buns, meat, and sauce, and just give me a piece of lettuce. Although, chewing on a bland piece of lettuce may be more exciting than watching an ass-less Magic Mike movie – Pajiba
All drunkenly hail, Serena Williams, The Booze Commercial Queen of the Super Bowl – Celebitchy
Batgirl herself, Leslie Grace, spit on DC Studios’ claim that the Batgirl movie was “unreleasable.” But even if it was really “unreleasable,” isn’t “unwatchable crap” the current theme of most DC movies? – Just Jared
Some are slow-clapping for Bradley Cooper’s mom for “roasting” his nine-time-Oscar-losing ass in a Super Bowl T-Mobile commercial. But honestly, I kept waiting for her to roast him for that messy mop of grease on top of his head and for showing up like he was just in the middle of his nightly skincare routine – Lainey Gossip
Leave it to THEE Tallia Storm (no, I have no idea who that is either) to bring some “Austin Powers fembot going to a snow rave in the early-aughts” demureness to the BRIT Awards – Go Fug Yourself
The director of a ballet company in Germany brought a bag of dog shit to a show, tracked down a journalist who wrote a bad review of a recent performance, and then smeared the pooch caca on her face. The director was suspended for that shitty attack. That “punishment” was obviously an overreaction because who doesn’t bring a bag of dog shit to work in hopes of running into the critic who said meanie things about your work so that you can smear crap all over her face as revenge? – Jezebel
Sarah Paulson showed off her little Malibu pied-à-terre in Architectural Digest, and please tell me that “bowl of artichokes” is not a rich person’s newest kitchen accessory of choice. Because (in the voice of Jimmy McMillan) the price of artichokes is already too damn high! – OMG Blog
Pic: Warner Bros. Pictures