Night Crumbs
Did I think I was going to spend a little piece of my Monday staring directly up into the double pair of Scientolonoseholes on Tom Cruise’s face? No, but I did, and yes, I looked to see if Shelly Miscavige was trapped up in there. Seen above looking like Jimmy Neutron’s crazed uncle, Tommy tweeted a video message where he’s thanking people for supporting Top Gun: Maverick while free-falling on his back through the sky at the same time. Many are impressed by Tommy’s latest STUNT QUEEN stunt, but I bet he always does this. I’m sure that one of the only times that Tommy can bust a Theatan-covered nut is when he’s staring at space while lying on his back thousands of feet in the air. Yup, it’s his ideas of fapping – Lainey Gossip
58-year-old Brad Pitt and his alleged girlfriend of the moment, 29-year-old Ines de Ramon, are spending New Year’s Eve together, according to a source. That source’s full name must be Wishful Fucking Thinking because I’m sure that Brad’s PR team will be linking him to a different piece by then – Gawker
Certified nepo baby (but not a big enough one to make New York Magazine’s cover on nepo babies), Lily Collins says that she never used her famous last name as a “free pass” to make it in Hollywood. Okay, then how about we change “free pass” to “master key that opens many doors in Hollywood.” And I’m sure that the next time Lily is asked about being a nepo baby, she’ll tell us that early in her career, nobody knew she was Phil Collins’ daughter because she used to audition under the fake name of LIly TotallyNotPhilCollinsDaughter – Celebitchy
The trailer for Oppenheimer is out, and my earholes strained to hear Cillian Murphy’s American-accented voice over the music and explosions. That tells me that, yup, this is a Christopher Nolan movie! – Pajiba
Just when Cecily Strong became my current favorite Saturday Night Live cast member thanks to her A+++ impersonation of Kari Lake Skari Back Alley Puddle, she said farewell to the show after 11 seasons – SOW
You can go back to forgetting that Katie Holmes and Bobby Wooten III are a thing because they’re not anymore and have split up. Believe it or not, Bobby didn’t dump Katie after seeing her Y2K look of pure hideousness. They broke up before that – Just Jared
Ts Madison, whose Five Cummandments are the only cummandments I try to live by, has been made a main judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race, season 15 – Entertainment Weekly
Pic: Twitter