Night Crumbs
After months of rumors that Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn are each other’s betrothed, a source tells The Sun that they’ve been engaged for more than a minute and when they do get married, their wedding is going to be elegant and simple (“like them” says the source) and you won’t see pictures of it in Vogue or Hello! Magazine. That line about them being simple and elegant tells me that Tay Tay’s cats are geniuses who know how to call The Sun’s tip line and talk in human words. But if Tay Tay and Jo Jo really are engaged, it’s probably going to be a while before they get married. Since Tay Tay doesn’t play when it comes to legal shit, the prenup negotiations are going to take eons and involve hundreds of lawyers, a SWAT Team negotiator, several psychics, and a notary public who specializes in blood signing – Celebitchy
Because headlines that read “Netflix Crashes From The Weight Of Everyone Trying To Watch The Season Finale Of Stranger Things” are better than headlines that read “Netflix Lays Off Hundreds More,” Netflix supposedly crashed from everyone trying to watch the season finale of Stranger Things. Oh yes, I’m sure they didn’t mean to crash at all. To quote Julie from Showgirls, “She probably cut that string herself.” – Variety
Kristen Stewart has been spotted on the New Mexico set of her new movie where she plays the girlfriend of a bodybuilder. And judging by that messy mullett, she also plays the sister of Joe Dirt named Joanne Dirt – Lainey Gossip
Both Pete Davidson and I brain-burped up a question mark over Olivia O’Brien claiming that she dated him in 2020 and that he dumped her via text. But while I brain-burped up a question mark over not knowing who Olivia O’Brien is, Pete brain-burped up a question mark because he says he never dated her. But please, Olivia O’Brien is a 20-something famous type. So of course they dated since Pete has dated ALL 20-something famous types by now – Just Jared
David Silver is a daddy again – People
The rumor that Lea Michele is replacing Beanie Feldstein in Broadway’s Funny Girl has reportedly been upgraded to “true” and an announcement is coming soon. But I don’t know if I buy that Lea’s deal is done and the contract has been signed because my eardrums are still intact. And if Lea signed the contract already, everyone’s eardrums would’ve exploded from the high-pitched squeal of joy she’d let out – Gawker
“I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative” – Dakota Johnson on getting dragged into the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard fiasco – BuzzFeed
Pic: Blitz Pictures/INSTARimages.com