Night Crumbs

May 12, 2022 / Posted by: Michael K

Blonde, the batshit Marilyn Monroe biopic that is based on the Joyce Carol Oates novel and stars Ana de Armas, got an NC-17 rating and its director Andrew Dominik is surprised about that. But then Andrew goes on to say that even though the U.S. puts out more porn than any other country, Americans are weird when it comes to sex. Andrew also promises that Blonde (working title: Let Marilyn Monroe Fucking Rest Already!) will probably offend everyone. Listen, saying that your movie will offend everyone is a way to get me to watch, but not everyone will feel the same way. That’s why Andrew should be selling his movie in a different way and say, “Yes, Blonde may offend you but it’s not nearly as offensive as Kim Kardashian’s continuous desecration of Marilyn Monroe!” – Just Jared

A new Anna Wintour tell-all claims that her go-to lunch was a steak with a tomato-less Caprese salad. So basically a hunk of meat and cheese. Some people call it “weird,” but please, I doubt Anna even really ate it. She probably sniffed at it before instructing her assistant to throw it in the trash with the wave of a hand while declaring, “I just ate the soul of an intern. I’m totally full.” – The New York Post

Jennifer Lopez is giving the world what we really need: another damn Cinderella project – Lainey Gossip

Melissa Gilbert says that after she left what sounds like a bad and cold marriage to Bruce Boxleitner, she went mid-life crises crazy by getting herself a Mustang convertible, a young French piece, and Botox. No word if she got the whole mid-life crisis package by getting a “Laura Ingalls No More” tattoo on her nalgas – Celebitchy

That loud cackle you hear is from anti-crypto warrior Ben McKenzie laughing at the crypto market eating shit – Pajiba

Kids today really don’t know their American history! See: Jack Harlow not knowing that Brandy and Ray J are brother and sister – Complex

Dame Joan Collins said that she doesn’t really care about The CW’s reboot of Dynasty, and what do you know, it’s been canceled! Yes, Joan Collins said that years ago and the Dynasty reboot went on to run for five seasons, but still! I am choosing to believe that the holy words of the one and only Alexis Carrington killed the Dynasty reboot for once and for all! – Deadline

Pic: Steve Vas/DDP/INSTARimages.com

Tags: Night Crumbs

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