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April 6, 2022 / Posted by:

Martha Stewart’s Credit Card Pool From Her 1994 AMEX Commercial!

Long before Martha Stewart was a thirst trap extraordinaire, a friend of Snoop’s, and the crafty sweetheart of Cell Block C, she was pushing American Express credit cards in commercials. And one of my first memories of Martha Stewart was seeing her re-tile her pool with all the credit cards she canceled and cut up since switching to the American Express Optima True Grace card. And of course, she retiled the bottom of her pool with the image of the Birth of Venus. She’s understated like that. And yes, the Birth of Venus is side-eyeing Martha like, “Please don’t even ACT like you do hard labor.

In the mid-90s, Martha Stewart had Martha Stewart Living magazine and she hosted a weekly show by the same name. And also in the mid-90s, American Express hired Martha to be the face of their Optima True Grace card. In the ad, Martha teaches a Home Economics class and tells us that she was shocked to learn that most credit cards charge interest as soon as you buy something but not the Optima True Grace card! Martha tells us this while cutting up her old credit cards which she recycles into pool tiles. It’s a good thing! And if you’re Tori Spelling, don’t bother pressing pause on the close-ups of the credit cards that Martha Stewart is cutting up to get the numbers. Those credit card numbers have long been voided! I already tried.

That pool is a giant watery ode to capitalism! And that commercial is pushing lies too. Like we’re really supposed to believe that Martha Stewart would ever dip her toes into a pool that isn’t tiled with anything less than imported marble. That commercial: It’s a FALSE thing!

Pic: AMEX

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