Hot Slut Of The Day!

Chewels!

This space has paid tribute to the cum gums of the past like Tidal Wave gum and Dr. Pepper gum, and it’s FINALLY time for Chewels’ moment in the Hot Slut of the Day spotlight (and yes, the spotlight is rusty, covered in cobwebs, and flickers). Like Tidal Wave, Dr. Pepper gum, and Freshen Up, Chewels was a gum with a liquid center that busted a flavorful nut into your mouth. But Chewels was sugar-free so you could bite into one without worrying about it putting cavities in your teefs.

I’ve been going through life thinking that Chewels made its debut in the 1980s but a post about Chewels from LikeTotally80s tells me that it actually came out in the 1970s. Chewels saw Freshen-Up’s cavity-causing sugar load and raised them a sugar-free version. Chewels was also one of MTV’s very first advertisers. via LT80s:

1.) Chewels actually debuted in the 1970s—1977, to be exact—as a sugar-free response to the original gum with a liquid gel, Freshen-Up. To give it the sweet taste, Chewels included the controversial ingredient saccharin, which largely disappeared from products shortly thereafter.

2.) The Chewels slogan was “Chewels tastes better.” It did.

3.) Chewels employed savvy marketing to appeal to the youngest gum-chewers. Ads for Chewels ran on the radio during American Top 40, and this commercial was one of the first to air on MTV in 1981.

The Chewels commercials of the early-80s showed everyone from Carol Burnett’s understudy (playing the Duchess of Twiddle) to a pre-famous Elisabeth Shue declaring that they’ve switched from Carefree sugarless gum to Chewels.

Sadly, not enough people made the switch to  Chewels because it was shit-canned sometime in the 80s (and as far as I know, Carefree isn’t around anymore either). That sucks and solely because Chewels could’ve reached peak advertising magnificence by hiring Geri Jewell and Jewel to be the faces of Chewels (Jewell and Jewel for Chewels!). That definitely would’ve made everyone make the switch!

Pic: YouTube