Open Post: Hosted By Michael Jordan’s Used Boxers That Are Going For $500

When I first read this story I thought it was about actor Michael B. Jordan‘s used boxers going on sale. And I was like “Wow! $500 is a steal!” But that was wishful thinking. No, what’s happening is that basketball legend, Michael “Hold The B” Jordan’s boxers are going on sale.
Page Six says that a bunch of Michael Jordan’s stuff ended up in the possession of his one-time bodyguard, John Michael Wozniak. In the Chicago Bull documentary, The Last Dance, John was seen winning Michael Jordan’s goodies by beating him in a game of coin-toss:
There’s a reason that man’s hair is so big, it’s filled with secrets! And apparently used underwear. John has sold Michael’s stuff over the years, like coats, suits, ties, and golf clubs. But one item has recently sparked new attention, as a pair of $500 “personally worn” boxers shorts have gone up for auction. Here’s the auction description:
Unusual item shows definite use as this pair of underwear/compression shorts was worn by Michael Jordan with some loose threads evident at the seams… a tag that says Michael Jordan, with the iconic last name on the waistband. About as close to greatness as one can get…
Page Six spoke to an auction insider and got the 411 on the used man-panties:
An auction insider tells us that the shorts were “regularly” worn by Jordan and show signs of “heavy use.”
What… are the signs of “heavy use?” Do I want to know? Bu considering that lots of Americans don’t change their underwear every day I can only imagine the state of this basketball player’s nutsack holder. $500 seems like a lot of money to spend on catching a case of underwear sniffing-inducing Pink Eye if you ask me.