Night Crumbs
It feels like the next set of words are typed every other month, but Lindsay Lohan is back, bitches! LiLo will triumphantly return to acting in a Netflix Christmas movie where she’ll play a “newly engaged, spoiled hotel heiress who gets amnesia after a skiing accident and finds herself in the care of a handsome, blue-collar lodge owner and his precocious daughter in the days leading up to Christmas.” So this is basically a bootleg version of Overboard in the mountains, but instead of getting the insane hotness of Tofutti Klein, we’re going to get the faint sounds of Dina “White Oprah” Lohan screaming off-camera at a crew member who dared question why she’s taking a bunch of costumes and props to her car. Nature really is healing! – Variety
The first trailer for Marvel’s Eternals, directed by Chloe Zhao, is out and I don’t know which department’s budget got cut the most: the lighting department or the wig department? Actually, I looked at Angelina Jolie’s wig again. I’m going with the wig department – Pajiba
Princess Charlene of Monaco is staying in South Africa for a little while longer, which means she’s either made her grand escape, or she got COVID-19, or she wants to give her insides a rest from all the dry heaving she does whenever she’s near Prince Pierced Peen – Celebitchy
In case you missed Lil Nas X nearly giving Saturday Night Live the biggest dick to hit their stage since Elon Musk hosted, here’s Lil Nas X having a wardrobe malfunction while dressed like a Lip Service model circa 1999 – SOW
Michael Jackson’s family has followed the British Royal Family in dragging Martin Bashir – The Blemish
File this news about the live-action Powerfuff Girls pilot under: When Your Shit Doesn’t Even Meet The Bottom-Of-The-Barrell Standards Of The CW – Just Jared
ABS: Elliot Page has got ’em – People
Oh look, Jennifer Love Hewitt’s stomach and my stomach look the same in a swimsuit, only I’m not pregnant with my third child – Popoholic
Pic: Instagram