Open Post: Hosted By A British Woman Trying Ranch Dressing For The First Time
Dawn Farmer, who describes herself as a “typical Brit” in her TikTok bio, is entertaining the masses with her video reviews of American foods: root beer floats, s’mores, chicken and waffles, beef jerky, and more. Last week one of Dawn’s Yankee fans sent her a bottle of Hidden Valley ranch dressing in the mail. Dawn says she’d never even heard of ranch until a few months prior, explaining that it’s super uncommon in the UK. Although she was initially hesitant about how “it smells quite…mayo-y”, she bravely dipped her cucumber into the white sea of fat. The verdict? Love at first bite! “Oh, it’s good, isn’t it? Oh hell yeah, that’s nice! Oh yeah. I can see why you like it.” Since then, Dawn says she’s been putting ranch on everything. We did it, Joe!
Here’s her first ranch TikTok:
@dawnnfarmer Trying American ranch dressing 🇺🇸 #american#british#fyp#foryou#foryoupage#viral#trending
Here’s a follow-up where she tests it out on different foods:
@dawnnfarmer Trying American ranch on different suggested foods 🇺🇸 #american#british#americanfood#fyp#foryou#foryoupage#viral#trending
And here she is comparing her beloved Hidden Valley ranch to Newman’s Own:
@dawnnfarmer RANCH BATTLE! Which is better? 🇺🇸 @hiddenvalleyranch I just love you 🥺🤤 #american#british#americanfood#fyp#foryou#foryoupage#viral#trending
Be careful with the dipping, Dawn. It’s a slippery, creamy slope. I can’t even eat pizza now without a creamy garlic side sauce. The best ones are, of course, from Canada’s Pizza Pizza. Shit cardboard pizza, orgasmic dipping options.
Now, I knew about Europe’s lack of white sauce, because when I was 17 I went on a Europe trip with my small town Ontario high school. The culture shock was real, particularly for this one farm girl who couldn’t wrap her head around any of it. Near the end of the trip, the tour guide asked her what she thought of Europe, and she replied (this is word for word, by the way, seared into my memory), “It’s OK, but there are not enough sauces. WHERE’S THE RANCH?” Where’s. The. Ranch? Poetry. Folk art. Wisdom. And where is this bard now? Well, dear reader, I have no fucking clue. Bitch never got Facebook.
Pic: TikTok