Cazzie David Dedicated A Chapter In Her Book To Her Break Up With Pete Davidson

Not all celebrity spawn are destined to become models who go on to date Pete Davidson. A rare few actually use their famous parent’s name and connections to become actors who (or in some cases, their mothers) go on to date Pete Davidson. Fewer still use their natural born connections to become authors who go on to date Pete Davidson. Take for example Cazzie David, daughter of Larry David, who has just written a book of essays called “No One Asked for This,” which is true, but here we are. In it, she talked about the devastating side effects of dating Pete Davidson (like loss of appetite, public humiliation, wallowing, and a book deal).

According to The Los Angeles Times, one chapter of the book is dedicated to Cazzie’s break-up with Pete. They were together for two years before Pete fooled around and fell in love with Ariana Grande while he and Cazzie were on a break of less than a week. Before she knew it, Pete was breaking up with her for good via text, and the very next day, had a tattoo of her face covered up with a pine forest. Damn. So no, we didn’t ask for this. But I’ll take it!

She and Davidson were infatuated. He got a tattoo of her cartoon likeness on his arm, a tattoo of her name on his ring finger and a tattoo of her favorite emoji on his neck. But she says she struggled to convince him that she really loved him, and she was fearful of ending things, because “previously, self-harm and suicide threats had come about from trivial circumstances.” (Davidson, 26, has been transparent about his mental health struggles — he’s used hard drugs, cut himself and been diagnosed with bipolar and borderline personality disorders.)

David did eventually build up the courage to initiate a break, only to call him back days later and say she’d made a mistake. But Davidson said he was “the happiest he had ever been,” and definitively dumped her two days later in a text message. The following day, she learned that he was with Grande. He’d uploaded images of himself to Instagram showing that he’d covered his Cazzie tattoos.

This was (one of) the tattoos in question.

Pete Davidson (again)
He got a tattoo of his ex girlfriend Cazzie David’s face. He got it covered up before he started dating Grande. pic.twitter.com/Q4JyzZcnHi

— a & s threads (@popspiracies) April 4, 2019

Fucking Pete. His dick can’t be that cute! Even if it had anime eyes and communicated in adorable chirps like Baby Yoda, no dick is cute enough to make up for the mess it’s attached to. Cazzie went on to say that she was devastated by the way things went down and had a little break-down in a hotel bathroom. It was so bad that her dad had to channel his inner Cher (we all have one, mine told me to buy a sequined turban I never wear) to get her to snap out of it!

She was devastated. On the plane to her sister’s college graduation, David was held by her dad as she “shook uncontrollably in his arms for the entire flight.” She curled up in the hotel’s bathroom, crying and sucking on her weed pens. She woke up “screaming in agony,” her dad pulling her from the bed to stop her spiraling.

“CAZZIE, COME ON!” Larry David told her. “YOUR ANCESTORS SURVIVED THE HOLOCAUST!”

Look, if my dad was a wildly successful, famous joke writer, I’d have him punch up my book too. The LAT adds that Cazzie and Pete are all good now and she even thanked him in the acknowledgments. Hopefully, it went something like “and to Pete, Thank you. Next (time I’m telling them about your dick cheese.)”

Pic: Instagram