Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 7, 2020 / Posted by: Michael K

Joe Johns!

Joe Johns is CNN’s senior Washington correspondent and while reporting from the White House lawn last night, a rabid, stanky, slobbery, mean creature came at him, and in a PLOT TWIST, it wasn’t Donald Trump coming to yell at CNN. It was a much more polite and refined creature: a raccoon! And Joe Johns immediately went from serious journalist to anti-raccoon warrior because he was not about to let a bitch get in his shot!

Raccoons have been not-so-quietly showing us humans that they are ready for a world takeover. Raccoons pull acrobatic moves to get food. They will break into your apartment to steal your food without giving one fuck. They can climb buildings. And they will surround you in a park to let you know that you better feed them or get the hell off their turf. They are coming for us! But not on Joe Johns’ watch! Joe Johns is never here for shenanigans pulled by a raccoon.

And last night, Joe yelled “git” at the raccoon and tried to trap the trick with some sort of bag before quickly switching to serous reporter mode. While Batman and Superman change into stupid costumes when they become their alter ego, Joe Johns doesn’t have time for that and doesn’t need a cape to go from serious reporter Joe Johns to Raccoon Fighter Man!

Protector of the night.
The hero we deserve.
Joe. Johns.

The raccoons never stood a chance. @joejohnscnn https://t.co/ImyBjZXw42

— Omar Jimenez (@OmarJimenez) October 7, 2020

That raccoon now knows better to never ever fuck with Joe Johns, and I was going to say that the raccoon probably skedaddled its ass into the White House for safety, but even the raccoon doesn’t want to go into THAT house. And in case you’re keeping score:

Humans (thanks to Joe Johns) – 1

Raccoons – 9,434,985,119

Pic: Twitter

Tags: Hot Slut of the Day

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