Back in college I borrowed a textbook about fucking Italian cinema from the library and promptly forgot it existed. When I finally found it under my bed, covered in dust bunnies and roaches (the cool kind, not the bugs), it was over two months overdue. The late fees totalled $101. I remember the number cuz of 101 Dalmatians. Despite some pretty embarrassing attempts at white lady fake-crying, I was forced to shill over cash I would’ve spent on booze. Quelle tragique.
So you can imagine how triggered I am today after reading the headline about two library books returned almost fifty years late. The books were the Thomas the Tank Engine book, The Railway Series No 22: Small Railway Engines, by Rev. W Awdry, and Learning With Colour Architecture: The Great Art of Building by Trewin Copplestone. The borrower dropped them off at the Basingstoke Discovery Center library in Hampshire, England, with a note explaining his accidental crime.
“We inadvertently took these with us when we moved from Basingstoke in 1972. Please accept my apologies for the late return of these items,” read the note, which was signed “Andy.”
The library said the late fees for the books would total over $10,800 by the current rates, but the facility put a moratorium on late fees in April due to the COVID-19 pandemic.
“Fortunately we are just happy to see them again,” the library said.
Oh ho hooo, Andy is one lucky SOB. $11K?! If it weren’t for COVID-19, Basingstoke woulda sent their library cops after his ass to collect what’s rightfully theirs:
And let’s hope poor Andy can finally find some peace after so many years on the run.