Open Post: Hosted By Dolly Parton’s New Christmas Album

August 13, 2020 / Posted by:

2020 has sucked a big one, but that hasn’t prevented legendary treasure Dolly Parton from spreading “Joy to the World!” She just announced she’ll be releasing a special Christmas album in early October called Holly Dolly Christmas. It’ll be her fourth holiday album, and her first since 1990’s Home for Christmas.

Horny baby boomer moms everyone will be delighted by the news that the lead single is a duet with Michael Bublé called “Cuddle Up, Cozy Down Christmas”. Other songs include“Holly Jolly Christmas”, “Christmas Is” (with Dolly’s goddaughter Miley Cyrus), “All I Want for Christmas Is You” (with Jimmy Fallon [?]), “Christmas Where We Are” (with Billy Ray Cyrus), “Pretty Paper” (with Willie Nelson, surely a rolling a joint reference?), “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”, and “You Are My Christmas” (with Dolly’s brother Randy Parton).

Dolly posted about the album on Instagram:

Dolly’s always been Christmas-crazy. She even dressed up as Santy Claus for the cover of Rolling Stone in 1979, sexually confusing youngins all over the globe:

Props to Dolly’s team for coming up with a title as clever as Holly Dolly Christmas. Some of their other options were, Go Tell It On The (Tennessee) Mountain (Home), Jolene the Ho-Nosed Husband-Stealer, Silver Jugs, and Feliz Navi-Dolly! Yeeeah, they probably made the right decision.

Pic: Instagram

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