36-year-old Mark Zuckerberg is not like any other normal thirty-something. Mostly because he seems like a soulless robot who can never answer hard questions about his role in the decay of society. But hey, would a soulless robot need sunscreen? Certainly not as much as Zuckerberg is using! Mark was spotted out on the water keeping his very fair skin safe from sun damage by slathering on so much sunscreen onto his face you’d think it was a Banana Boat Bukake.
Mark was spotted in Hawaii, even though the people of Hawaii don’t want him there. Mark has been dealing with some legal issues on the island. He’s sued native land-owners in Kauai to “enhance” his own $100 million property. Despite being accused of “colonizing” the island, Mark dropped his lawsuit back in 2017. But in 2019 he was accused of using a local resident, Carlos Andrade, to sue those same land-owners. Well, whether he’s going to own Kauai or not, Mark is still enjoying that ocean.
The New York Post says he was spotted with pro-surfer Kai Lenny while on a $12,000 eFoil board which is basically an electric surfboard. But it wasn’t that fancy surfboard that made Mark go viral. It was his mime-face.
— New York Post (@nypost) July 19, 2020
Even though dermatologists are probably praising Mark for protecting his face, Twitter dragged him, of course. Does sunscreen protect against the flames of Twitter roasting? Here’s hoping!
No one has ever seen Mark Zuckerberg and the ghost from Spirited Away in the same room, just saying pic.twitter.com/RZ54gjcHJz
— Brent Peabody (@brent_peabody) July 19, 2020
Was trying to think of who Mark Zuckerberg surfing reminded me of & then it came to me pic.twitter.com/ybue3Prbkr
— Tom Reagan’s Hat (@RufusTSuperfly) July 19, 2020
Are we sure Mark Zuckerberg isn't just shedding 🦎 it is summer time 🤔🤔??? pic.twitter.com/wfrrRsBQMS
— I'm Rick 💙 (@Rick76_) July 19, 2020
this photo of mark zuckerberg with way too much sunscreen and a dump truck ass is my new sleep paralysis demon pic.twitter.com/OT42wSN4uu
— “rachel” (@rachellobaugh) July 20, 2020
Mark IS Facebook so he can control the story of this picture over there. While Twitter makes fun of him, I bet the top news story on Facebook is: “Why MORE Sunscreen On Your Face Proves You’re A Cool Man With A Huge Penis–Doctors Explain!”