The World Is Getting Another “Twilight” Book 

May 4, 2020 / Posted by:

The Hollywood Reporter says that Stephenie Meyer has returned and given crazy aunties everywhere a reason to stop posting COVID-19 conspiracy theories on Facebook to read this crap. Stephenie is shitting out her long-awaited (by some) next novel, which is really just a refurbished Twilight. See, it’s not just Hollywood who doesn’t have any new ideas! Her book Midnight Sun will be out in August and will tell the story of Twilight from the perspective of vampire Edward.

The existence of Midnight Sun was teased in 2008 but sadly for Stephenie, some Twihard leaked a copy of it online and so she canceled its release. She later put out her rough draft of it but nothing has happened since then. Stephenie originally called the project “an exercise in character development that got wildly out of hand.” Stephenie even said that she will never release the book after E.L. James announced that Grey spin-off which was also a retelling of 50 Shades of Grey from Christian Grey’s perspective. Well throw on your body glitter and prepare to dive back into two of the most one-dimensional characters in history.

There was a clock on Stephenie’s site that counted down to this news, but her site ended up crashing because Twihards still exist, apparently. Midnight Sun will be out on August 4th. Stephenie burped up a blog post about the release and also talked about the announcement in a video on Good Morning America:

“Good morning America, and good morning especially to any Twilight readers who are watching. My name is Stephenie Meyer and I am very excited to finally, finally announce the release of Midnight Sun on August 4th. It’s a crazy time right now, and I wasn’t sure if it was the right time to put this book out but some of you have been waiting for just so, so long it didn’t seem fair to make you wait anymore.”

I mean, this seems like a cheap-ass way of cashing in on old bullshit to me. But I guess all the Twihards will want to read the same shit as told by the equally-boring boy vampire. How about we make this a trend and do this with other popular books but maybe shake it up a little? Harry Potter as told by a Hufflepuff student who has to live with yearly magical dramas unrelated to them personally. The Lord Of The Rings as told by the hobbits who stay back in The Shire. Give us something new!

But we’ll see if Twihard queen Nutty Madam will fully come out of retirement over this.

With quarantine, she sure has the time to freak out over Twilight again and she does seem ready for another round insanity:

 

She’s coming (and sadly, I see what I did there)!

Pic: Hachette

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