Yes, that picture is from a Texas brothel, but during these times, who cares about technicalities!
The world is freaking out, and for good reason. My inbox is flooded with emails from businesses that all start with: “We here at Menchie’s take COVID-19 very seriously”. Starbucks just announced they’re switching over to to-go orders only, all the festivals are kaput, and people definitely aren’t going to the movies. But the oldest profession in the world is still alive and well. Yep, Vegas brothels are open, but with a few extra safety precautions. Come and get it (it being the coronavirus), boys!
We contacted a half dozen of the biggest brothels in the Las Vegas area, and they’re all open for business … with an asterisk. One brothel manager said all customers must wear masks when they walk in and even during sex. It appears the women do not wear masks
Another brothel manager said an enormous bottle of hand sanitizer sits on the bar, and Clorox wipes are used frequently to wipe down doorknobs, bathroom counters and other surfaces. Every brothel we called said they sanitized their joints on a regular basis.
And, one of the places told us they will send any women home even if she has a slight cold.
Ummm, would wearing a mask make any difference at that point? Yes, there’s also condoms, the face mask of the penis, but you’re still bumping and rubbing skins. Apparently, the Mustang Ranch is actually taking customers’ temperatures before they’re allowed to enter. However, the incubation period for coronavirus is at least five days, so even if they don’t have symptoms, they could still have the virus, non? Sigh. But I’m no doctor. I dropped high school bio after someone dared to utter the word mitochondria. Too many syllables!
Sex workers are understandably freaking out about all the money they’ll lose during the coronavirus pandemic. Like so many of us, they don’t get benefits, salaries, or sick days.
I did a little digging into sex work during the Bubonic plague. Apparently, because so many sex workers were dying, it became a “seller’s market”. The surviving girls became super in demand, and their working conditions actually improved. Also, some people were just like, “Fuck you, death, I’m living fast and dying immediately!”, and threw orgies in cemeteries. Sex workers actually started soliciting there. Sure! Whatever gets ya through the end times. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must get back to Lysol-ing my tomatoes.