Hot Slut Of The Day!
Drakes Beach!
Above is a picture of what Drakes Beach in Northern California’s Point Reyes National Seashore usually looks like. In other words: BORING! But around a week ago, Drakes Beach turned into a blissful piece of beautiful heaven. Now if Drakes Beach was named after that Drake, his idea of a blissful piece of beautiful heaven would be a beach filled with underage girls he can “talk” to. But Drakes Beach is named after Sir Francis Drake, and I hope Sir Frances Drake loves dick, because his beach got filled with it. And yup, the sentence “Drakes beach got filled with dick” suddenly makes me jealous of a beach.
The, urechis unicinctus, also known as the penis fish, which is actually more like the penis worm, was a HSOTD back in 2012. And it’s back on Dlisted and is the sole reason for why Drakes Beach is a HSOTD. In case you forgot what the dick fish looks like, prepare to throw your hole or holes at the screen and get into the girthiness of King Triton’s dick, which is kind of what it would look like if Lance Armstrong sent you a dick pic.
https://twitter.com/nypost/status/1205253573111681024
That one ball’d thick beauty is all over the shores of Drakes Beach, and has turned it into a dick lover’s paradise. “I hear Drakes Beach is just beautiful this time of year” is probably what John Travolta is saying to Kelly Preston at this very moment.
This may just be the weirdest thing you've seen today!
Thousands of these marine worms, called fat innkeeper worms—or "penis fish"—washed up on Drake's Beach after a recent storm. ???? But why? https://t.co/MwY6xkN3kb pic.twitter.com/vGMpSvGoAT
— Bay Nature magazine (@BayNature) December 11, 2019
As for why Drakes Beach has become Dicks Beach, there’s a chance that when I prayed to God to make it rain dicks on dis bitch, there was a faulty connection and God heard “make it rain dicks on Drakes Beach.” Or it was a storm, like Ivan Parr, a biologist from the Western Section of the Wildlife Society, believes:
So how did thousands of fat innkeeper worms get strewn across Drakes Beach? Well, we’re seeing the risk of building your home out of sand. Strong storms – especially during El Niño years – are perfectly capable of laying siege to the intertidal zone, breaking apart the sediments, and leaving their contents stranded on shore. Do these high-energy storm events have a long-term impact on fat innkeepers? So far as I know, there are no programs explicitly taking stock of the worms. However, you can help monitor this and other species by continuing to use citizen science to report mass strandings, noting when and where they took place, and roughly how many stranded worms you see.
Whatever the case may be, if a clean-up crew is needed, they know where to find me. Although, maybe that’s not a good idea. My deductible is too high to get mercury poisoning of the b-hole.
Pic: Wikimedia Commons