ABC News has some sad news in the Fuck Cancer-front. Beloved television host of Jeopardy! and occasional straight up fucking SAVAGE, Alex Trebek, has let us know that he is sadly going to be doing more chemotherapy after just recently still being in remission for stage 4 pancreatic cancer. It seems that his numbers are “sky high,” so Alex is going to be doing more rounds of treatment.
ABC says we should say a little prayer to our varying gods and spirits for Alex Trebek’s quick recovery and we should also use one of Lana Del Rey‘s witch spells on the Demon Devil of Cancer so that bitch can finally get what’s coming to him.
In an interview with Good Morning America, Alex talked to reporter TJ Holmes about his ongoing health issues. Alex has been open about his cancer treatment in the past, and was also recovering from a brain surgery early last year. Well, there’s more medical bullshit ahead for poor Alex Trebek:
“I was doing so well. And my numbers went down to the equivalent of a normal human being who does not have pancreatic cancer. So we were all very optimistic. And they said, ‘Good, we’re gonna stop chemo, we’ll start you on immunotherapy.’… [then] I lost about 12 pounds in a week. And my numbers went sky high, much higher than they were when I was first diagnosed. So, the doctors have decided that I have to undergo chemo again and that’s what I’m doing.”
Alex also opened up about being in “excruciating pain” and “fatigued” by the medical treatments and that he’s now also grappling with depression which started when he was first diagnosed. He said he’ll randomly just feel a “surge of sadness.” He said:
“When it happened early on I was down on myself… I didn’t realize how fallible each of us is in his or her own way… I talk to the audience sometimes and I get teary eyed for no reason. I don’t even bother to explain it anymore, I just experience it. I know it’s a part of who I am and I just keep going.”
Alex says he’s come to terms with everything and it sucks, but he’s also an old guy whose done a lot and he’s more worried for the people he leaves behind:
“I realize that there is an end in sight for me, just as there is for everyone else. One line that I have used with our staff in recent weeks and months is that when I do pass on, one thing they will not say at my funeral is, ‘Oh, he was taken from us too soon.’ …Hey guys. I’m 79-years-old. I’ve had one hell of a good life. And I’ve enjoyed it… the thought of passing on doesn’t frighten me, it doesn’t. Other things do, the affect it will have on my loved ones… it makes me sad. But the thought of myself moving on, hey folks, it comes with the territory.”
But don’t think this means Alex is gonna roll over and leave Jeopardy! anytime soon, he will tell you answers that you will have to give him the question to until he physically can no longer hold a microphone:
“As long as I can walk out and greet the audience and the contestants and run the game I’m happy.”
I wish Alex the speedy recovery of a Goop-addict whose convinced themselves that their $80 He Shou Wu Sun Potion actually affects their overall health!
You can watch Alex’s full interview with GMA here: