Harry Styles’ Pits Cover Rolling Stone

August 20, 2019 / Posted by:

Listen, I love that male pop stars are now shedding their shirts and showing off their bodies to sell records! It’s about time! Women have had to do it for so long, may as well get the guys involved! Equality. Harry Styles is showing us that he is number one in this department and is appearing on the September issue of Rolling Stone with his bare man-nips on full display. Also on display is one of those Justin Bieber prepubescent barely-there moustaches which is very serial predator hillbilly.

September is a big month for entertainment. Back to school means all the TV shows premiere in the fall, the September magazines are usually stacked and have big stars on the cover of them who are promoting some shit because that’s the time to do it. Well Mr. Styles is on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine with his tits out, so I’m guessing he’s got something to promote–but it’s definitely not The Little Mermaid. Or Elvis. But’s something:


Us Weekly says that Harry has new music on the horizon, so we can thank his music career for this display of male shirtlessness available on newsstands September 3. A source told Us that we can expect new Harry Styles crooning “late this summer/early fall” which must mean soon because that’s now.

He was also spotted shooting videos for this alleged new music coming out–he was photographed filming two music videos already this month. One was filmed at Lombardo Toledano in Cancun, Mexico on August 4–where he was seen in a “shimmering silver shirt, high-waisted trousers and suspenders”. And on August 10 he was in the fishing village of Saint Abbs, Scotland wearing a “a white jumpsuit for one scene, and flared trousers and a black-and-white sweater.”

Clearly this means he’s going to be serving us his standard high-class lesbian fashion sense–and I can’t wait. I’m loving everything about this. Well, almost everything. I do wish Rolling Stone and Harry had decided to push the limits a bit and show all of Harry’s nipples. Only three (peep that nip near his butterfly tattoo)?! Why not all four?

Pic: Rolling Stone

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