How’s this for tragic: The Rock put a rock on it, and now Lauren Hashian, The Rock’s girlfriend and mother to his 2 pebbles, can go around calling herself Mrs. The Rock, yet she chooses not to. I will never, ever understand people. According to People, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson revealed on Instagram that he and Lauren got married in Hawaii with minimal hooplah. Pfft! If I were marrying The Rock, not only would I go around yelling at everybody “It’s Mrs. The Rock to you!”, I would have wasted so much of his money on unnecessary hoopla, it would make your head spin.
On Monday morning, the actor, 47, revealed on Instagram that he tied the knot with longtime girlfriend and singer/music producer Lauren Hashian in an intimate ceremony in Hawaii.
Johnson and Hashian first met in 2006 while the actor was filming The Game Plan and started dating in 2007. They share daughters Jasmine, 3, and Tiana, 16 months.
Here’s the happy couple. I can’t help but look at those bright whites and that lush green grass and not immediately think of a Tide commercial, but to each their own.
This is The Rock’s second marriage.
Johnson was previously married to film producer Dany Garcia for 10 years. The former couple, who share daughter Simone, 18, split amicably in 2007.
People took care to note that The Rock and Mrs. Not Mrs. The Rock met in 2006, but claim they didn’t start dating until 2007. I’m not trying to insinuate anything, but if they had deployed even just a little bit more hoopla, I probably would have missed this mildly scandalous detail. At the very least, The Rock could have distracted me with an Ultimate Wedding Night Cheat Meal, or released a clip of himself getting down on some sweet Moana karaoke at the reception, and I probably wouldn’t have noticed. Just saying. It’s not like anybody cares. As long as The Rock continues to not run for President, he can do whatever the fuck makes him happy. And from the looks of it, everybody is. Well, everybody except for Tyrese.