Channing Tatum Is Freaking Out Over An Astrology App

July 13, 2019 / Posted by:

Sometimes, celebrities tend to overshare on their social media. And whenever they do, you can best believe most people will be there to watch and judge like, “What the hell are they on?” Prepare yourselvesm children, for there is a brand new WTF video going around and it stars Channing Tatum as a confused man filled with many questions. And no, one of those questions isn’t, “Should I buy new G-strings for Magic Mike 3?”  Think more along the lines of a guy who got completely stoned and began questioning an astrology app that really dug too deep into all of his personal business. You can also file this under: the things Channing Tatum will do for a check!

I’m not sure what Channing was thinking (SPOILER ALERT: He was probably thinking of $$$$) when he posted this video, but according to Bustle, his mind was boggled by an astrology app called The Pattern. Somehow Channing was left completely in awe after The Pattern revealed personal information about him and it bothered him so much he had questions. Oh, so many questions.

“How do you know what you know about me Pattern?” Tatum asked, requesting his followers to send in their answers. He continued, “I don’t even know if anyone should know this stuff. I was just in therapy yesterday — and yeah, I’m in therapy, whatever, everybody should be in therapy — and I just get a notification on my phone this morning – whoops — pops up, and, using the exact words we were using in therapy… Is the phone listening? Are you listening through the phone?”

The Pattern is an app where you put your birthday and it’ll give you personal info about yourself. The app apparently crashed from people trying to download it after seeing Channing’s tweet.

But is The Pattern a new strain of weed? Because Channing sounds like he may have partaken in just a wee bit too much. Channing, whatever you’re smoking, pass that shit over her,e homie. Because it not only made you Full Metal Jacket hot, it’s got you seeking the answers to the mysteries of the universe. And as far as his eavesdropping accusation, he shouldn’t be blaming The Pattern for that. That’s a grievance he needs to take up with Google, because that nosy bitch listens to everything we say all damn day long.

Pic: Twitter

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