It’s being reported that 44-year-old David Beckham has gotten in trouble with the British driving authorities and has actually been banned from driving for the next six months. Don’t worry it’s not something serious like drunk driving, he’s just a general ass mess.
Like some states in the US, in England, if you rack up enough demerit points for committing driving infractions you get your license taken by the government. The same happens in Canada–I got three once for a speeding ticket but like I was not going that fast to get three and I went to court and it was dropped anyway, so like, my license is clear and also those radar speed traps are entrapment and need to be outlawed!
I promise I’m a much better driver than the BBC is reporting David Beckham is, because he’s racked up enough to get stunted on by the Department for Transport. According to them, David had his license revoked after he was caught using a device while driving around in his Bentley in central London back in November last year. He pled guilty and now a court has sentenced him.
There was photographic evidence from a nosey-ass member of the public who snapped a pic of David holding a phone as he drove in “slowly moving” traffic. Apparently he was caught even though David clearly tried hiding the illegal act by using the phone “at knee level.” The prosecutor, Matthew Spratt, said:
“Instead of looking straight forward, paying attention to the road he appeared to be looking at his lap.”
Like: Hello! What are you doing? Everyone notices the dude in the car staring at his crotch! If you aren’t jerking it, you’re on the phone–and neither is good.
David had his own defence barrister, Gerrard Tyrrell, make some statements in his defence and he said that David was forgetful and had “no recollection of the day in question or this particular incident”. Oops, I forgot, golly-gee, shrug! But he did add:
“There is no excuse for what took place but his view is that he cannot remember.”
And he also claimed that driving was a fun pastime for this Fast & Furious wannabe so being not allowed will really sting:
“He takes his children to school each day when he can and he picks them up when he can, and actually to deprive them of that is something that he will acknowledge.”
Oh yeah, I’m sure that the nanny picking up the kids for the next six months is going to devastate David Beckham. Someone call Justin Bieber’s prayer circle!
Despite the slow pace of the traffic and David’s love of the drive, District Judge Catherine Moore still laid down the law, saying there is “no excuse” to use your cellphone when driving. The court gave him six demerit points on his license. He was also fined £750, and has to pay £100 in prosecution costs, and a £75 surcharge fee within seven days. So all in all: Still not even a drop in the bucket for this millionaire. But the demerit gag is: he already had six of em for other speeding related infractions.
Infractions like one he managed to get out of back in January last year, when he was caught driving a “loaned Bentley” (I had to mention it) at 59mph in a 40mph zone. He was charged, but managed to get the charge dropped through his lawyer. But his lawyer didn’t get him out of this one and his license got snatched away for six months.
I wonder what this insanely wealthy guy will do now that he can’t drive for the next six months? How will he get around other than by paying someone to drive him? Woe is him. But hey, at least this shows that famous people aren’t above the law in England. Only the Monarchy.