Night Crumbs
Amy Schumer, someone whose pregnancy also seemed to last 65 eons like Duchess Meghan’s, also give birth to a baby boy, who is thankful that the beanie is covering his ears, because he really doesn’t want to hear his mommy dribble out TMIness like how he accidentally gave her a Cleveland Steamer when she burped him without a diaper on – Just Jared
Busy Phillips is no longer busy tonight (or whatever time of day they used to shoot her show, which has been shit-canned by E!) – Lainey Gossip
Louis C.K. threatens to sue audience members if they tweet his jokes, and no, he’s not yanking your chain, but I’m sure he’ll gladly yank his own as you uncomfortably stand in the corner – Pajiba
Photoshop turned Emma Roberts into some sort of Allison Williams/Willis Sister hybrid – Drunken Stepfather
Madonna’s fans are getting a chance to get up close and personal with her thrusting crotch because she’s going on an “intimate” theater tour – Towleroad
Lily-Rose Depp is giving you middle-aged socialite going to the final settlement hearing of her third divorce – Popoholic
And Ariel Winter is slathering my eyes with elegance by giving us lot lizard Christina Hendricks with a splash of Bella Thorne – Hollywood Tuna
Meat Loaf nearly turned into ground beef when he fell off a stage, breaking his collarbone – SOW
St. Angie Jolie really is broke, and she’s so broke she’s been forced to wear trash bags as pants! – Celebitchy
PRAYERZ 4 PAZ! – TMZ
Pic: Instagram