Cats Rejoice! Shane Dawson Got Engaged To A Human

March 20, 2019 / Posted by:

Shane Dawson is officially off the market. Mere days after doing damage control after getting raked through the coals when audio surfaced of him describing a sexual encounter he had with his cat, Shane has just announced his engagement. To his cat! Of course I’m kidding, bestiality is still illegal in this country as is cross-species matrimony. No, Shane got engaged to his boyfriend of 3 years, fellow YouTuber Ryland Adams.

YouTube celebrities seem like they’re all the worst. I only hear about them when they already done fucked. I rarely hear about the happy, feel-good moments in their lives, and when I do, it’s only after something has gone terribly wrong. Last week I didn’t know Shane even existed, yet now I know all about his history of doing black face, making jokes about pedophilia, and denying he’s ever had to pick cat hairs out of his urethra. But today that all ends. Even though he already completed step two in the YouTuber’s handbook “So You Went Too Far: How To Maintain Your Revenue Stream At All Costs” by apologizing, it was so poorly handled and received, he’s had to skip straight to step 3, Create A Distraction. E! News reports:

With more than 21.2 million YouTube subscribers and nearly eight million Twitter followers, Dawson certainly had a lot of fans celebrating the big news.

Adams also has almost four million YouTube subscribers and more than one million Twitter followers. So, he likely received tons of well-wishers, as well.

A hater says what? Sorry, we can’t hear you over the thundering shouts of CONGRATULATIONS pouring in over multiple platforms! And these two are really milking it, up, down and sideways on social media. First there was Shane’s pre-announcement beta test, which luckily for him, coincided with the couple’s 3 year anniversary.

View this post on Instagram

Ryland, thank you for making the last 3 years the happiest time of my life. Thank you for sleeping next to me even though i sweat through the sheets. Thank you for making me smile and reminding me how loved I am in real life even when I’m being cancelled online. Thank you for letting me cover you in fake tattoos and wigs for videos and sometimes just for a fun saturday night. Thank you for loving me unconditionally and reminding me everyday that i should love myself too. I thank the universe everyday for bringing you into my life and I can’t wait to start a future with you and start every day thinking about how lucky I am. I love you more than i can ever even explain in words. -Shane ❤️:,)

A post shared by Shane Dawson (@shanedawson) on

That went over pretty well I guess, because the main event wasn’t far behind!

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HE SAID YES!!!!!! :,)))))))

A post shared by Shane Dawson (@shanedawson) on

This was followed up by a day after tweets.

Oh, cute doggy! Now that Shane has successfully completed step 3, he can move on to step 4, dubbed The Logan Paul Method, which is to go back to step 1: Create an Offense, But With a Twist.

Run doggy, run!

Pic: Instagram

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