Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 6, 2019 / Posted by:

Guy Diamond, the glitter-farting troll from Trolls!

Because I am not a 6 year old (I am more like an 8 year old, thankyouverymuch) and not a level 10 stoner (I am more like a level 9 stoner, thankyouverymuch), I haven’t watched Trolls. Besides not being a 6 year old or a level 10 stoner, I have also been diagnosed with a major allergy to Justin Timberlake’s voice. I have the doctor’s note to prove it. So because of this, I didn’t know about Guy Diamond, the naked lavender troll who butt coughs out diamond dust. I know, I write “fart glitter aficionado” on my tax returns next to occupation, and I barely found out about Guy Diamond. Shame isn’t only a movie starring Michael Fassbender’s fat swinging crotch vine, it’s also something I feel over not knowing this.

Because Guy Diamond (who is voiced by Kunal Nayyar in the movie) is a popular character, he, along with Branch and Poppy, greet their fans at Universal Studios theme park. Recently, a clip made the rounds of Guy Diamond strolling into a meet-and-greet with zero clothes on his body and he makes everyone clap by doing his signature move of farting out glitter. This has to be the weirdest rave I’ve ever seen.

Imagine graduating from Juilliard’s acting program and the first job you get is at Universal Studios Orlando as a troll who walks around the park with his entire nalgas out and farts out glitter as though he just got butt bred by a unicorn? The other Juilliard graduates would definitely fill your inbox with notes of jealousy over you landing the role of a lifetime!

And here’s a picture of Guy Diamond’s clean-up crew, who are making the same face that a clean-up crew at a scat orgy makes:

Yes, I am about to start a petition, demanding that the Academy make Guy Diamond the host of this year’s Oscars (I mean, all he would do is fart glitter and that’s already a zillion times more entertaining than anything a host of the past has done). But with that being said, I walk around ass-out naked in public and fart glitter (after shoving a glitter pill up my b-hole) and all I get is a trip to a jail cell, and Guy Diamond gets viral fame. Life isn’t fair.

Pic: YouTube

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