While I was watching Super Bowl LIII on Sunday night I could barely pay attention to the game because it was boring. The commercials were boring. Adam Levine was so bored during his halftime performance with Maroon 5 that he took his shirt off to make things a bit sexier and it was still, by far, the most boring Super Bowl in years. And I’m not the only on who thinks so as the ratings have come in and they’re not good. In fact, viewership for this year’s Super Bowl was the lowest its been in a decade.
Now you know it’s bad when not even the halftime show can save the Super Bowl, but unfortunately it did not help. In fact, it added to the overall crapiness of the entire evening. Deadline reports that the number of people who watched the Super Bowl over a multitude of different devices comes in to about 100.7 million. That’s including people who watched it live and through streaming services. You’re probably thinking “That’s still a lot of people” which it is. However, this marks the first time the Super Bowl has barely reached 100 million viewers since Super Bowl XLIII back in 2009.
The actual number of people who watched the 6:32 to 10:05 PM ET game on CBS itself was 98.2 million
Which means, without CBS’s sleight of bundled hand, last night’s game is down just over 5% in total audience from last year’s Super Bowl on NBC. Compared to the last time the net had the big NFL game in 2016, the sewn together number of 2019 Super Bowl took a tumble of 12%.
Though the game wasn’t interesting (at all) it will take a few honors for the history books. Sunday marked the sixth Super Bowl win for New England Patriot’s quarterback (and Trump’s former BFF) Tom Brady and it also marks the third consecutive time the Patriots have gone to the Super Bowl. However, the score of 13-3 now holds the NFL record for the lowest scoring Super Bowl since 1973. And I’m not going to lie to you but I barely remember the game. And not just because the Jameson was flowing like water. At some point I had to stop drinking to keep my eyes open because the game was putting me to sleep. And the Maroon 5 halftime snoozefest didn’t exactly make a huge impression either.
I guess when Adam ripped his shirt off he thought he was doing something amazing that would make all the fans swoon with delight, but that ain’t happen. It didn’t add anything to the night but it did remind me of last year’s halftime performance by Justin Timberlake, which was equally as wack as this one. But at least he kept his shirt on. Because let’s be honest, the only person allowed to whip out a titty to tantalize the audience is Janet Jackson, but the NFL is still scared of her. And I’m sure as she was watching at home as soon as Adam’s nips came out to play she probably grunted and said “Bitch I did it first and I did it better!”