The t-shirt and saltwater taffy shops of the Jersey Shore will be a little quieter and void of third-person self-references this summer, as Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino reported to prison today for trying to hide millions from Uncle Sam. Mike was sentenced back in October to eight months in the slammer after he and his brother, Marc Sorrentino, were found guilty of failing to pay taxes on two businesses they own, and incorrectly reporting $9 million of income. Marc got two years in jail, so count your blessed situation, The Situation! Mike do-si-doed into jail earlier this afternoon, and it looks like he’ll have another famous face to pump iron with in the prison yard.
TMZ says Mike is doing time at the Federal Correctional Institution in Otisville, New York, but before he said a temporary farewell to GTL, he went on Twitter to ask his fans to send him mail so he’d have something to read other than the license plates he and the other inmates are forced to make. Is that even still a thing? Oh, well, I’ll tell myself it is. In case you’re wanting to send the Sitch some love letters, n00dz, or that free extra subscription you get with Vanity Fair, here ya go:
For family , friends & fans
Mailing Address for letters only:
Federal Correctional Institution
PO Box 1000
Otisville, NY 10963
— Mike The Situation ☝? (@ItsTheSituation) January 15, 2019
Donald Trump‘s former lawyer and fixer, Michael Cohen, is also expected to do time in Otisville, so maybe they can talk about how Mike could have improved his god-awful roast of Donald way back when. The Federal Bureau of Prisons confirmed to Radar that Mike is checked in, so get to writing! Federal prison consultant (fun job!) Dan Wise told Radar that The Situation’s jail experience is going to be aking to staying at a Hampton Inn:
“It will be very unlikely that he will ever see any type of violence while serving his very relaxed prison sentence. With his MTV status, it is more likely inmates will see him as a star, which will make his time very easy!”
Yes, I’m sure the jail warden has already set up a stand for Mike to sign all the other inmates’ shot skis! While Mike is going to miss Valentine’s Day with his new wife, Lauren Pesce, and summer at the Shore, he is expected to be released by Halloween – just in time for whatever court-ordered MTV special he’s supposed to film in order to pay back Uncle Sam!