Screw your New Year’s resolution, because Costco is here to slather on some creamy goodness for bulking season. The big-box Mecca and source of my Sunday brunch (also know as the MMA fighting octagon to old folks) is known for its enormous stores and just-as enormous portions. If you’re ever needing a pack of 900 condoms or 300 hot dogs, Costco is the place to go! It was only last summer when Costco said they were going to be “healthier” and stop selling their Polish sausage at their snack shack. It didn’t take long for the Costco executive board to recognize that, uh, this is Costco, so they’re now hawking a 7-pound bucket of Nutella for the bargain bin price of $22.
USA Today says a few innocent bystanders noticed their local Costco had a large-enough 33.5 ounce jar of Nutella for sale, but this is BIG BOX AMERICA! Go big or go home, BRAH! The food buying department at Costco HQ apparently downed a 200-pack of Four Loko that had been lying around since 2011 and decided that what America really needed was to buy hazelnut spread in the same drums Exxon uses to export oil. Hey, you won’t find me complaining, and you won’t find these people griping either:
— Tony Ebikeme (@TonyEbikemeJr) January 5, 2019
— Susan Pender Sneed (@deaconseps) January 6, 2019
Totally worth it, indeed! Anyway, Business Insider says the 7-pound (actually 6.6 pounds) bucket of happy goes for $21.99, and you can pick it up in-store or online to get delivered to your apartment and show everyone else in your building what a B.D.E. boss you are. Online orders unfortunately come with a $3 delivery fee, but who cares?! Odds are, Costco will give you a refund if you return an empty bucket anyway!