Ice-T Insists He’s Never Had A Bagel Or Coffee

November 10, 2018 / Posted by:

The Twitter was in a frenzy yesterday over Ice-T announcing that he has never in his entire life eaten a bagel, despite being an actor playing a New York cop (three instant qualifiers for the consumption of bagels, one would think) on Law & Order: SVU for the past 18 years. And while we’re on the subject, Ice says says has also never had a cup of coffee in his entire life. Ice, why you gotta blow our minds like that?

Ice is the impresario over his highly interactive and informative Twitter page, upon which a fan recently asked him his favorite flavor of bagel. Ice claimed that the closest he has ever come to eating a bagel is spreading his cream cheese on Coco’s scrumptious bagel shaped ass cheeks.

Ice has also never sampled any of Colombia’s finest. I’m talking about the kind that comes in brown liquid form. That’s right, Ice has never had a cup of coffee either.

Vulture was quick to whip up a highly investigative video outlining Bagelgate 2018 and confirming that Ice, in fact, never touched the cinnamon raisin bagel in a SVU episode that a few fans were quick to put into evidence.

What is it about bagels and coffee? Are they just not hard enough? It’s is highly unlikely that he’s doing it for the health benefits, as while leading this highly educational forum on his nutritional choices, Ice admits to liking jelly donuts, which is really no surprise since Coco’s perfect breasts appear to be filled with syringes of a concoction of saline and  jelly made only from the ripest, sweetest berries harvested under the full moon of Summer Solstice.

Anytime Ice discusses his favorite and never sampled food and beverages, he always comes back to his favorite: the classic “dicks” he is always encouraging people to eat.

If Snoop and Martha Stewart can pair up to host their own cooking show, can’t we have a show where Ice’s special guests are his haters, and he teaches them how to prepare various “dick” recipes? His first guest can be Aimee Mann, who dissed him on Twitter a few years back. At the time, Ice responded to Aimee telling her to “eat a bowl of hot dicks”. I have a bad cold and and a bowl of hot dicks sounds mildly soothing. I need Ice to teach me how to make that!


Our commenting rules: Don't be racist or bigoted, or get into long-ass fights, or go way off topic when not in an Open Post. Also, promoting adblockers is not allowed. And some comment threads will be pre-moderated, so it may take a second for your comment to show up if it's approved.

alt="drupal analytics" >