While ABC is clearly ready to move on from the embarrassing mess that was Roseanne, Roseanne Barr herself isn’t able to exit stage left as easily. For nearly a month now, Roseanne’s name has been synonymous with Ambien jokes due to a really gross Tweet she made about former Obama adviser Valerie Jarrett. Roseanne has issued some excuse-heavy apologies on Twitter, like saying her Planet of the Apes crack was really about anti-semitism. Well, now we can hear what one of those apologies sounds like; Roseanne has given her first interview since this all went down. And much like the name of Carly Rae Jepsen’s last album, Roseanne’s interview was full of capital-E emotion.
The Blast says that two days after ABC caught wind of Roseanne’s tweet and cancelled the Roseanne revival, Roseanne called into a podcast hosted by her friend Rabbi Shmuley Boteach (which I really wished was titled Shmu Talkin’ To Me?, but isn’t). Rabbi Shmuley decided not to release the podcast until yesterday, which is why we’re only hearing about it now.
Around the 14:23 mark, Roseanne tells Rabbi Shmuley that she’s tried to repent to God and feels real remorse for her actions. That’s when Roseanne got real weepy.
Roseanne then apologized emphatically for the tweet she wrote about Valerie Jarrett. She claimed she didn’t mean what everyone thought she meant. She added that she’s not dumb and would never compare an African American woman to an ape. And yet she pretty much did? But still, the point is Roseanne believes she didn’t mean that part.
“I’m a lot of things. I’m a loudmouth and all that stuff, but I’m not stupid, for God’s sake, and I never would have wittingly called a black person…say they are a monkey. I never would do that! And I didn’t do that. I am so sorry…that I was so unclear and stupid. I’m very sorry but I don’t think that, I never would do that.”
Ambien also got a shout-out, although Roseanne says it’s no excuse. She also says she thought Valerie Jarret was white, and was just criticizing Valerie’s policies on Israel. Roseanne says she’s willing to accept any and all consequences for her actions, but that it’s hard because no one will accept her apologies, she’s “lost everything,” and that she’s become a “hate-magnet.” Become a hate-magnet? As in…recently? I don’t know how accurate that is. I can’t image a lot of people said “I love this” as she shrieked through the national anthem.