Show Dogs is an actual movie about a human cop (played by Will Arnett) and a dog cop (voiced by Ludacris) who go undercover at a fancy dog show in Las Vegas to catch the animal traffickers who stole a baby panda. Think of it as a high-brow Miss Congeniality as reimagined by Merchant Ivory. That mess of a movie may seem like it was 100% made for stoners, but like most stoner movies, it was mostly made for kids. That’s why many are throwing a disgusted side-eye at a couple of messy scenes where the cop dog gets uncomfortable with humans touching his no-no area but puts up with it anyway and is told to go to his happy place. It’s nice to see that Subway Jared is keeping busy in prison by writing movie scripts.
I haven’t seen this shit yet, because it’s a children’s movie, and the sound of children laughing in the theater would totally ruin my weed high as I try to watch a riveting drama about talking dogs. But apparently, there’s two scenes where the police dog, who is pretending to be a show dog, gets his genitals inspected by human judges. Anyone who has seen a dog show knows that genital inspectin’ is standard, but mommy bloggers and child advocacy groups think that what really makes the scene trash is the cop dog growing uncomfortable and being told by another dog to go into his “zen place” to get through it. The National Center on Sexual Exploitation took a break from trying to destroy that sinful, humanity-destroying Cosmopolitan magazine and put together a statement they gave to Deadline. They said the whole “go to your happy place” thing is an icky tool that child touchers use:
“Disturbingly, these are similar tactics child abusers use when grooming children — telling them to pretend they are somewhere else, and that they will get a reward for withstanding their discomfort. Children’s movies must be held to a higher standard, and must teach children bodily autonomy, the ability to say ‘no’ and safety.”
A theater chain in Australia heard the outrage about Show Dogs being a PSA (Pedo Service Announcement) and pulled the movie. Groups asked AMC and Regal to do the same. Show Dogs is flopping at the box office, and I guess to keep it from flopping harder, Global Road cut those scenes from the movie.
“It has come to our attention that there have been online discussion and concern about a particular scene in Show Dogs, a family comedy that is rated PG. The dog show judging in this film is depicted completely accurately as done at shows around the world; and was performed by professional and highly respected dog show judges. Global Road Entertainment and the filmmakers are saddened and apologize to any parent who feels the scene sends a message other than a comedic moment in the film, with no hidden or ulterior meaning, but respect their right to react to any piece of content.”
At first I was all ready to HAHA at hysterical parents getting outraged and overreacting to a stupid gag in a stupid talking dog movie, but then I read what happens in the scene, and sided with them. It’s a shame that “happy place” scene even made it to the page. Because now Show Dogs’ Oscar chances are done. It was a frontrunner thanks to the “dog farting in a bath” scene alone.
Pic: Global Road Entertainment