Night Crumbs
Just three days after a human baby was pulled out of her body, Jordin Sparks did the premiere of her new movie Show Dogs. Great, now thanks to Duchess Kate and Jordin, celebrities are going to try to top each other and soon we’ll see one of them on the red carpet carrying a bedazzled placenta five minutes after giving birth. But I don’t blame Jordin for going to that premiere a minute after birthing a baby. Show Dogs is about a police dog and a police human joining forces to rescue a stolen panda, so I too would want to be at the premiere of the movie that is going to make history by winning every Oscar imaginable – Celebitchy
It’s that time of day when we all throw, “Bitch, you’re too old for this shit,” looks at Justin Theroux and Paul Rudd for hanging out with that toddler Selena Gomez – Lainey Gossip
Not pictured: the seal who mistook Farrah Abraham’s Spalding-brand ass for balls and tried to juggle it – Drunken Stepfather
Err, wouldn’t it be more appropriate for Kim Zolciak to open a dollar store since that’s where she gets her wigs from? – Reality Tea
Did I ever fantasize about Hugh Grant kissing on Ben Wishaw in a BBC miniseries? No, but I’ll take it – Towleroad
How is it possible that Disney’s headquarters hasn’t completely drowned in jizz from executives repeatedly busting nuts over how much money Avengers: Infinity War has made? – Pajiba
I see that Bella Hadid just watched The Matrix – Popoholic
If you’ve got a drug test coming up, don’t click over and look at this picture or massive amounts of E will be found in your blood stream – Hollywood Tuna
Okay, but was she taken into custody after since messing up the lyrics to Manic Monday since that’s definitely a crime – SOW
Two years after forgetting about both “Becky with the Good Hair” and Rita Ora, Rita Ora wants to remind you that she’s not Becky with the Good Hair. Great, and now you can go back to forgetting about both of them again – Just Jared
Pic: FayesVision/Wenn.com